Defying Gravity
by Fae2135
Summary: My first ever venture into Wicked fanfiction, now edited, reworked, and otherwise generally much improved. Basically I have taken the musical and put it into diary format from Elphaba's point of view. Verse and pairings should be obvious.
1. A Bit About Me

**A/N: Welcome to the new and improved version of "Defying Gravity!" I have almost completely rewritten the first three chapters or so, because I didn't yet have my hands on the script of the show when I started this story at the beginning of last summer. Also, the writing style in the first five chapters or so left much to be desired. (Plus, when I posted this story the first time, I hadn't yet learned that you get many more reviews by posting one chapter at a time… and we all know what a review addict I am:D ) So, I hope you like the changes I made!**

**Disclaimer: All I own are green makeup, a pointy black hat, the OBC and karaoke soundtracks, the Grimmerie, my special "I Won the Wicked Lottery!" button (the story behind that one amounts to the single luckiest event of my entire life thus far – just ask if you want to hear about it!), and tickets to see the show on July 5.**

**xXxXx**

Well, here I am at last, on my way to Shiz University! I've been looking forward to this day since… sweet Oz, since before I can remember! Father's never let me do anything like this before – he'd never have believed I was capable of university level work. But I passed all my school exams at the top of my class in every subject, so, after lots of hemming and hawing, he finally admitted grudgingly that there was no real reason he could think of to keep me from going. I know the main reason he's letting me come is because of Nessa, but still, I'm going to prove to him that I _do_ count for something!

I'm perhaps a couple of years older than one might expect of a girl about to begin her first year of university, but that's because Father wouldn't let me leave home to go to school until Nessa was ready for university, too. What with her disability and everything, he needed me at home to take care of her. But now that she's starting at Shiz, he decided that I could accompany her. I suppose having me there with Nessa will be cheaper and easier for him than having to hire someone else to take care of her, not to mention that it will eliminate the need to entrust our family history to an outsider. We tend to guard our privacy more than most people, you see, because of Nessa being in a wheelchair and me being… well, the way I am.

I suppose I should explain here just exactly what I mean by "the way I am." No, I'm not crippled like poor Nessa, or disfigured, or anything like that. But from the day I was born, I've always been a bit… different from other people, in a couple of major ways.

First of all, I'm green. Yes, you read that last bit correctly. My skin is the color of grass, frogs, the Emerald City – take your pick. No one is really sure exactly how it happened. But just before my mother died, she gave me a little green glass bottle with the label 'Miracle Elixir.' I was too young to understand its significance at the time, but I put it with my few other little treasures, and as I grew up I came to understand that it had something to do with why I look the way I do. Seeing as how the contents of that little bottle have caused me so many problems in my life, I would not ordinarily want anything to do with it. But it's also the only tangible thing I have left of my mother, so I sleep with it under my pillow every night to remind me of her.

Now for the second reason. I can make things happen. I have no idea why or how. I can't usually seem to do it on command. But when I get really good and angry, strange things just…happen. It's so embarrassing. I hate it. It absolutely mortifies Father whenever I have an "episode" (his word, not mine!), so over the years I've learned to stay away from situations that might cause my strange powers to flare up. And for when I can't avoid these situations altogether, I've learned to keep my temper under control, at least enough to keep things from getting out of hand. This isn't always easy, but usually I manage to keep myself calm enough that my powers don't act up. However, I also have a rather strong temper when provoked, so sometimes I can't quite manage to rein it in, and the next thing I know everyone is staring at me like I'm some oddity in a carnival freakshow.

Needless to say, between my strange powers and my green skin, I've never really found it easy to get close to anyone. My greatest wish for my time at Shiz is that for once I'll be able to just fit in and make friends like a normal girl instead of being the outcast, as I've always been before. Maybe the people at Shiz won't be as incredibly small-minded as everyone back home. Maybe, instead of judging me by their first glimpse of me, they'll actually take the time to look past my green skin and accept me for the person I really am.

And maybe Pigs will sprout wings and fly.

Oh, who am I kidding? What reason do I have to believe that Shiz is going to be any different from home? I've got to learn to stop giving myself false hope that's only going to be crushed in the end. No one at Shiz is going to want to befriend me any more than anyone back in Munchkinland did. I've known that all along; it's time I accepted it. That was why I bought this diary in the first place, after all – to have somewhere other than inside my own head to talk about my private thoughts and problems. Because goodness knows I certainly won't have any _people_ who are willing to listen to them. Putting my impressions of the world down on paper is better than not having anywhere at all to discuss them, I suppose. At least paper can't run away screaming or fall down in a faint at the sight of me, or tell me that my feelings and opinions don't matter.

I guess I'd better go for now – we just pulled up to the railway station at Shiz, and Father will want my help rounding up all our luggage and getting Nessa off the train. I'll try to write more in the next few days, once Nessa and I are settled in.


	2. Different Is Good

**A/N: Behold, chapter two! I cannot BELIEVE how much better this is than the original version! **

**As you may or may not have noticed, I took down the vast majority of the stories I used to have posted on my account, mainly because back when I wrote them (during my early fan fiction days) I didn't think to write up any sort of plot summary, and it's been so long since I worked on any of them that I now have no idea where any of them were going beyond what I had. So I have taken them down. But many large bits from two or three different now-deleted things made their way into this chapter, which you may or may not recognize, and I think the end result is much better because of them.**

**I would also like to thank the three people who reviewed the last chapter. Yes, there were only THREE. I know you all probably know the plot (and very likely a good bit of the dialogue) backwards, forwards, upside down, and inside out, and I realize that some of you reviewed this story the first time I put it up (thanks plenty if you did!). But still, it would be kind of nice to know that you're reading it and to hear what you think of the spiffied-up version. Please?**

**Disclaimer: It will be mine the day an ordinary broom can fly. Oh, wait… (Ha, gotcha there for a clock-tick, didn't I? I guess ordinary brooms can't really fly, though, because Greg, Steve, and Winnie still own it all.)**

**xXxXx**

I can hardly believe what's happened! I have so much to tell! But I'd better start from the beginning and do it properly.

When we got to Shiz, there were little groups of students milling around everywhere. Slowly, all the chatter stopped, and even though my back was turned, I could feel every eye in the room focused on me – and they didn't feel friendly. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself as I've had to do my whole life, and then turned to meet their stares.

"What? What are you all looking at?" I asked innocently, as though I really didn't know. Then I pretended to realize what the problem was. "Oh, do I have something in my teeth? Is my underskirt showing?" When no one moved or said anything, I rolled my eyes, heaving a heavy sigh. Sometimes trying to play the stares off works, and sometimes it doesn't. Evidently this was one of the latter times. "All right, fine. We might as well get this over with. No, I'm not seasick; yes, I've always been green; no, I didn't eat grass as a child…"

Of course, Father appeared, wheeling Nessa in her chair, just in time to hear my little tirade. "Elphaba!" he snapped in a tone of warning.

Cowed, I gestured to Nessa, who was sitting primly in her wheelchair, doing her best to look unaffected by my bad behavior. "And this is my younger sister Nessarose," I informed the staring crowd of students, gesturing to her. "As you can see, she is a perfectly normal color."

Father beckoned me over, and from the look on his face, I didn't dare refuse. "Elphaba, stop making a spectacle of yourself!" he hissed harshly when I rather reluctantly made my way to his side. "Remember, I'm only sending you to this school for one reason..."

"I know," I interrupted rather sharply. Then, at the look he shot me, I continued in a more contrite tone, "To look after Nessa."

He eyed me suspiciously for a moment, but then apparently decided that I was, for once, not being sarcastic, and gave a curt nod. Then he turned to Nessa, and his stern expression melted into a loving smile. "My precious little girl – a parting gift." He produced a smallish, beautifully detailed leather case, which he placed reverently in her lap and gestured for her to open.

"Now, Father…" Nessa scolded gently as he handed over the gift. But any protests, real or only meant for show, that she might have had died on her lips when she lifted the lid of the case and saw what was inside. "Jeweled shoes!"

She lifted one out to admire it. The shoes were silver, embedded all over with some sort of shimmering gemstones that I've never seen before. Whichever way she turned it, the light struck the gems differently, each new position causing them to glow every hue imaginable – now blue as sapphires, now a deep emerald green, now the brilliant yellow of a canary, now a glowing ruby red. They were the most spectacular shoes I've ever seen.

"As befits the future Governor of Munchkinland," replied Father fondly. Then he turned to me. "Elphaba…" For a moment, just the most fleeting moment, I thought that he might possibly have gotten something for me, too. But he merely shoved the shoes' case into my chest. "Take care of your sister. And try not to talk so much." And with that, after a final kiss for my sister, he walked off without so much as a backward glance.

As much as I hate to admit it, even to myself, at that moment, I was insanely, indescribably jealous of my sister. In fact, I might almost say (if you'll pardon the terrible pun) that I was practically green with envy. Why is Nessa more deserving of a gift like that than I am? Just because I look a little different (well, that may be a bit of an understatement, but still!), that doesn't mean that I'm somehow inferior! It's not that I begrudge her the love and attention she gets. How can I? After all, it's my fault that she is the way she is. I can't resent her for any small bit of happiness she manages to find. It's just that I sometimes wish there was a little left over for me.

My face must have betrayed what I was thinking, because when he was gone, Nessa looked up at me, sensing my feelings without having to be told. "Elphaba…" she began hesitantly, sounding unsure of what to say.

I got the feeling that she was about to apologize for Father's neglect of me. But I didn't want an apology, not from her, not when she hadn't done anything to apologize for. And I didn't want to make her feel guilty for enjoying those beautiful shoes. So I put on the most convincing smile I could muster. "Well, what could he get me?" I cut her off, just a bit too brightly. "I clash with everything."

Thankfully, I was spared whatever response Nessa might have had to that remark (she hates it when I try to use sarcasm to brush off her concerns) when a woman with an air of great self-importance appeared in the midst of the group. "Welcome, new students!" she proclaimed to the room at large. "I am Madame Morrible, headmistress here at Shiz University. And whether you are here to study law, logic, or linguification, I know I speak for my fellow faculty members when I say that we have nothing but the highest hopes… for some of you." I couldn't help a soft snort of agreement with this. Then she turned and noticed Nessa in her wheelchair, and immediately came hurrying over to greet her. "Oh, you must be the governor's daughter… Miss… Nessarose, isn't it? What a tragically beautiful face you have!" she gushed. Then she turned around and found herself face-to-face with me. To her credit, she recovered quickly from the shock, though she did have to lean heavily on Nessa's chair for a moment as the sight of me sunk in. "And you must be…"

"I'm the other daughter, Elphaba," I confirmed before she finished, and couldn't resist adding dryly, "I'm beautifully tragic."

Madam's eyebrows rose. "Yes, well, I'm sure you're very bright." Out of the corner of my eye I saw a blonde girl make a comment to the group of students that were gathered around her, and they all burst out laughing, which meant it was more likely than not something to do with me. "Now, regarding room assignments..."

Nessa and I had heard nothing whatsoever about where we were to be living, so I quickly raised my hand. However, so did the blonde girl I had noticed a moment ago, and that happened to be the direction that Madame Morrible was facing at the moment, so she saw the other girl first. "Yes, is this regarding room assignments?"

"Oh, no, Madame, thank you for asking," the girl said calmly, "but I've already been assigned a private suite." This elicited a number of loud protests from the students surrounding her. But the girl held up both hands, and once the groaning and grumbling ceased, she added consolingly, "But you can all come visit me whenever you want!"

"How good of you!" squealed one of the girls closest to her.

"You are so good!" declared another ecstatically.

"No I'm not." The blonde shook her head and lowered her eyes modestly, but it was clear (to me, at least, if not to anyone else) that it was only for show. 

"Yes you are!" both of the girls fawning over the blonde insisted.

The girl giggled and tossed her hair over her shoulder with practiced ease. "Now stop!"

"Did you have a question?" Madame Morrible intoned pointedly, cutting the nauseating admiration session short, an action for which I was silently very grateful.

The blonde girl immediately turned back to the headmistress, who was waiting rather impatiently to learn what the girl's purpose had been in raising her hand. "Oh. Yes. You see, I am Galinda Upland… of the _Upper_ Uplands...?" When Madame Morrible showed no signs of being impressed by the name, Galinda pulled her off to the side, where they began to hold a private conversation. I took the opportunity to study Miss Galinda Upland closely.

I took in the mountainous pile of luggage near which she had been standing – all monogrammed with huge 'G's, and all apparently hers. Then I noticed her perfectly coiffed golden ringlets, her spotless cream-colored skirt and short jacket, her matching purse and shoes and hair accessories… well, you get the picture. I saw at once that this was one of those girls who must be perfectly matched and put together in every aspect of her appearance in order to face the world with confidence. I detest girls like this, girls who think that outward appearance is all that matters. And so, as unreasonable of me as it may have been, I knew at once that I would despise her until the day I die, if not longer.

After a minute or so, I realized that if I didn't do something, blonde Galinda would easily monopolize Madame Morrible's attention indefinitely. I stepped forward and spoke up, "We have not yet received our room assignments."

"Yes, yes, of course." Madame Morrible abandoned Galinda and returned to stand next to Nessa's chair as she informed us, "The Governor made his concern for your sister's wellbeing quite apparent. She will share my compartment, where I can assist her as needed."

"But Madame," I protested, trying my very hardest not to sound disrespectful, "I've always looked after my sister."

"He never mentioned you." She fixed me with a too-bright smile. "Oh, well. A slight gulch, but not to fret. We'll find _some_place to put you." Turning to the crowd of students, she asked, "Now, which of you young ladies will volunteer to share with Miss Elphaba?"

I hardly expected any takers. But just then Galinda stepped forward, her hand in the air. "Madam Morrible – " she began. It was obvious to me that whatever comment she wanted to make had to do with something else altogether, and that she had simply picked a most unfortunate time to voice it.

But Madam Morrible was so anxious to get the situation taken care of that she took Galinda's coming forward as the solution to the problem of where to put me. She rushed forward and wrung the blonde girl's hand. "Thank you, dear! Oh, how very good of you!" And of course, Galinda could hardly contradict her, although she didn't know what exactly she was being praised for. "You see, Miss Elphaba, you can room with Miss Galinda."

The blonde girl's jaw dropped, and she cast a horrified look at me, which I wholeheartedly returned. "What?!"

"No, Madame, you don't understand…" I protested, doing my best not to panic.

But Madame Morrible wasn't listening to either of us. "Everyone to your dormitories!" she sang out, making shooing motions with her hands, and all the students who were milling around began to trickle out, bound for the rooms they had been assigned. She came and grabbed the handles of Nessa's chair and began to wheel her away.

"Elphaba, I'll be all right," Nessa called over her shoulder to me. I could tell by her tone that she was warning me not to make another scene.

"But I promised Father – " I reminded her frantically. But my pleas had no effect on either Nessa or Madame Morrible, and they continued to move towards the door.

I was getting desperate – I had to do something! I couldn't let Nessa be separated from me. What if something went wrong? If Madam Morrible didn't take proper care of her, _I'm_ the one who Father would blame. He might think that I hadn't done what he was depending on me to do, and have me sent home. Not to mention that I simply didn't want anything to happen to my sister. And what was more, I could not, under any circumstances, let myself be forced to room with the blonde girl, Galinda. If I did, I could see even now that she would drive me stark raving mad. I could already tell she was the kind of girl who spends hours each day in front of a mirror making herself look perfect. The kind of girl who lives for attention. The kind of girl who depends on others for her opinion of herself. And, as I've already mentioned, I can't abide people like that. Not for a single clock-tick. The more I thought about being trapped in a dorm room for the entire term with Galinda the Giggly, the angrier I got. I felt the familiar scalding, churning pressure of my powers starting to build deep inside me.

"_Let her go!"_ I screamed. And before I could do anything to control it, sparks flew, and the wheelchair tore itself out of Madam Morrible's hands, turned around, and rolled backwards to rest once more in front of me. Shaken, I gripped the handles tightly.

By now, Madam, along with Galinda and everyone else, was staring at me – again. "How did you do that?" she managed.

"How did she do that?" echoed Galinda in shock.

Nessa gave me a mortified and reproachful look. "Elphaba! You promised things would be different here!"

"You mean this has happened before?" Madam's eyebrows shot up again.

"Well … uh… something just… comes over me sometimes," I stuttered, feeling my cheeks turning the darker shade of green that, in my case, passes for a blush. "It's… something I can't describe. But I will try to control myself." Then I knelt down next to my sister and began to apologize, "I'm sorry, Nessa…"

"What?! Don't ever apologize for talent!" admonished Madam Morrible. "Talent is a gift! And that is my special talent… encouraging talent. Have you ever given any thought to a career in sorcery?"

I shook my head, astonished. "No, not really."

This seemed to shock her. "Oh, I shall tutor you privately, and take no other students!" Galinda gave a small cry of dismay at this news, but Madame Morrible didn't seem to notice. "Miss Elphaba, I've waited years to work with a sorcery student of your caliber. Why, I can even see you someday becoming the Wizard's right hand man…er, _woman_."

"_The_ Wizard?" I echoed in amazement.

She chuckled, and confirmed with a nod that I had indeed heard her correctly. "I'll write to him at once and tell him about you. I'm sure he'll want to meet you." She leaned closer and lowered her voice as though she was about to impart some top-secret knowledge to me. "With a talent like yours, dear, if you apply yourself diligently, there's no limit to what you could do! You're destined for greatness, dearie, mark my words." And with that, she gently but firmly moved me away from Nessa's chair and took hold of the handles.

"Now, Madame, perhaps we should talk about this…" Galinda began desperately, flashing her politest, most winning smile as she latched onto Madame Morrible's arm.

But Madame merely shook her off with a vague, "Not now, dear," and continued on her way with Nessa. Defeated at last, the blonde wandered off up to her room (well, _our_ room now, I suppose) to sulk, and I was left alone to contemplate the future that Madame had just described.

Now, I've never told anyone this, but ever since I was a little girl, I've had one great, overwhelming ambition: to meet and work for the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the ruler of our country. And now, with Madam Morrible offering to give me private sorcery lessons, and promising to tell him about me… well, it looks as though my lifelong dream might actually have half a chance of coming true!

All I've ever wanted to do is help people, and I know the Wizard feels the same way. I mean, he's responsible for keeping all of Oz wonderful; how could he _not_ care about his people? He's so smart, so… so _good_; I know he won't let himself be blinded by my appearance. He'll look past the color of my skin and accept me for who I am on the inside, unlike anyone else I've ever known. Honestly, people can be so small-minded sometimes – just because someone doesn't look like them, they think it gives them the right to treat them as somehow inferior. But the Wizard isn't like that. He'll see who I truly am, and he'll know he can rely on me. And that will be just the beginning…

Once I'm with the Wizard, my whole life will change. Once people know you work for him, no one considers you a freak anymore. No one points or stares or laughs at you or calls you names. Any father would have to be proud of a daughter who the Wizard himself has taken under his wing. And who could possibly be ashamed by her sister's embarrassing little quirk if that quirk has landed said sister a job with the ruler of the country? And it won't stop with my family. No, after I join the Wizard, all of Oz will have to love me! And who knows? Maybe once the Wizard and I are working hand in hand, I'll finally figure out why I've been given these strange powers.

One day, after I've proven my worth to him, he'll take me aside for a little talk, just the two of us. "Elphaba," he'll say to me, "a girl as good as you deserves to be as lovely on the outside as she is on the inside. So, would it be all right by you if I degreenify you?" And though, of course, that's not important to me… well, how can I possibly refuse such a generous offer?

What a pair the Wizard and I will be! With him, my future will be unlimited! And someday… oh, I can see it now! I know it sounds truly crazy… and I'll admit, the picture's not exactly clear in my mind… but I swear, someday there'll be a huge celebration throughout Oz… and it will be all about me! That's right, me! It'll be the best day of my life. And although I'd never show it, I'll be so happy, I could just… melt! And that's how things will be for the rest of my life. To be held in such high esteem, cheered for by everyone in Oz… I can't imagine ever wanting anything else.

I stood there for a minute or two, captivated by these daydreams. When I finally dragged myself back to reality, I realized that I had no idea where Madame's rooms are, so I had no way to find her or Nessa to try and work out some other living arrangement. So I was still stuck with my less-than-desirable roommate situation. No, let me correct that – I _am_ still stuck with it.

And that's how I ended up with the roommate from hell. But more about that next time – I have to go get ready for my first sorcery lesson!

**xXxXx**

**Elphiemuse loves reviews. She loves reviews almost as much as she loves Fiyero. Which is a WHOLE WHOLE LOT.**


	3. The Roommate From Hell

**A/N: Still one of my favorite chapters. Galinda/Elphaba hate is just SO MUCH FUN to write! Again, I threw in a bunch of stuff from things that I took down off my account to improve the original. Hope you have as good a time reading this one as I did writing it!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would be fabulously, disgustingly, obnoxiously rich, and my mother would not be nagging me to find a summer job.**

**xXxXx**

As promised, more on the subject of Her Majesty, Miss Galinda Upland, Royal Pain in the You-Know-Where. (I hope you're ready for this…)

When I finally hauled myself up to our room that first day, Galinda was already there, a thoroughly unhappy expression on her face. I confess to feeling a small glow of satisfaction when she wrinkled her nose unpleasantly as I walked in. I obviously (hopefully) make her as miserable as she makes me.

First of all, it's a good thing I didn't bring much with me (not that I had much to bring), because her stuff takes up her entire half of our room, and most of mine to boot. Having finished unpacking my suitcase and my few meager trunks within a few minutes of my arrival, I watched in mingled disgust and fascination as item after item made its appearance from her luggage, wondering how one person could possibly need so much. Her closet and dresser are full to the point of overflowing, and the vanity (which I was under the impression we were supposed to share) is already littered with the various tubes, bottles, brushes, compacts, and other sundry items that Galinda insists she needs to "beautificate" herself. She brought enough clothes to last a normal person through all four terms at Shiz, enough down pillows and velvet comforters for the entire population of the school, and enough shoes to outfit an army. (Oh, the injustice of it all!) I detest every atom of her being, but the girl has remarkable taste in footwear. It's so unfair that she can afford all the gaudy, outlandish, gorgeous things she wants!

As to her personality, I can sum it up in one word: BLONDE! She makes me sick – curling, polishing, primping, preening, chattering, giggling from morning until night. She stays out long past curfew every night, is constantly late to or absent from classes, never does any of her schoolwork…and the maddening part is, the professors all let her get away with it! She can do whatever she bloody well pleases, and she'll still be this bubbly, frilly, gorgeous example of perfect femininity. Whereas if I were to put so much as my little finger out of line, I'd be labeled a cheeky, ungrateful wretch who needs to learn her place. Then I'd probably be expected to participate in some pointless exercise to facilitate said learning of my place. This would likely involve writing lines, cleaning of one type or another, or another similar waste of my time. It disgusts me to witness the double standards applied by the professors here at Shiz.

Oh, yes. Have I mentioned that she flirts with _every single boy she meets_? I don't even think she really means to; she does it almost subconsciously. I'm fairly certain already that it must be a part of her genetic makeup somehow, because flirting comes as naturally to her as breathing. (I wouldn't be in the least upset if she were to stop doing either one.) And the really infuriating part is, she's not interested in any of the boys she flirts with. She already has a male entourage that follows her every move, but she barely even knows they exist. She uses them to get favors, but she has no intentions of paying back the favors she then owes them. And they're all so enthralled by her so-called beauty (well, what else was she going to use to captivate them, her razor-sharp wit?) that they don't even realize that they mean nothing to her. Or if they realize it, they don't care. She can hardly be bothered to give them the time of day, and yet any one of them would still gladly die for her a thousand times over. Does she have any idea what I would give to have even _one single person_ feel that way about me?

Galinda complains about everything. The day we arrived, she began to talk at me (Galinda doesn't talk _to_ me, she talks _at_ me, because talking _to_ me would require me to answer her, meaning we would actually have to have something approaching a real conversation), whining about how unfair it was of Madame Morrible to expect her to share her _private suite_ with me, how her parents are paying extra for her to have a room all to herself and she expects the university to reimburse them, and how on top of the whole dreadful rooming situation, Madame Morrible won't even let her into the sorcery seminar (the very class which she offered to teach _me_ privately – take that, Your Royal Perfectness!), which she declares is the _only_ reason she even applied to Shiz in the first place. She was quite offended because she didn't think Madame even read her application essay (which is probably an accurate conclusion), "Magic Wands: Need They Have A Point?" She even went so far as to quote, from memory, the entirety of the aforementioned essay.

After a few minutes of her chattering away nonstop, I realized that she didn't expect any sort of response to her ranting, so I picked up a book from the neat stack on my desk and tuned her out, prepared to let her ramble on as long as she wanted to. But my concentration was rudely interrupted by a pink, ruffly pillow that came flying seemingly out of nowhere to smack me in the face and knock the book out of my hands. I looked up in surprise and annoyance to see Galinda glaring at me, hands on her hips. She had finally noticed my lack of attentiveness to her plight. Apparently I was supposed to at least _listen_ to her pointless fuming, even if she didn't actually expect me to _answer_ her. Returning her venomous look with one of my own, I picked up the book, found my place, and turned my back to her as I picked up where I had left off.

This did not dissuade her from continuing to rant at me, however, and the constant background noise was distracting me from my reading, so finally I told her (quite pleasantly, all things considered) just where she could stick her blasted application essay. She got a highly offended look on her face, and for a minute I was afraid she was going to tattle on me for using foul language. But she merely uttered a wordless cry of fury and despair and stormed out of our suite, probably to bemoan her troubles to her many friends, who no doubt commiserated with her about how awful it must be to be forced to live with the green girl. When she was gone, I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply, impressed by the self-control I showed in not murdering the obnoxious creature on the spot. I can already tell that this is going to be a very long school year.

My only salvation through all of this has been Madame's sorcery seminar. The key to the whole concept of sorcery, or so she tells me, is to embrace your powers, not fight them. And she apparently knows what she's talking about, because I started following this advice, and it's incredible how quickly I'm learning. Even when Madam invited me into the seminar, I would never have suspected I was capable of any of the things I've done in just a few short classes. And Madame says that we haven't begun to even scratch the surface of what I could be capable of. If I can turn a drawing of a flower into a real live plant this early on (yes, I actually did that the other day, can you believe it?!), just imagine what I'll be able to do once I've been fully trained!

I can't even begin to describe how good it feels to know that my powers, which I've always viewed as a curse, are really a blessing. I'm not such a freak after all! Or at least, I'm a freak in a good way. It's so wonderful to finally be praised and recognized for my abilities, instead of being feared and ridiculed for them. We'll just see what Father has to say about me now!

So you see why I'm glad that Madame won't let Galinda into the seminar. It's my refuge, my one escape. If Galinda took sorcery with me, there'd be no getting away from her, nothing I could call mine and mine alone. I've got to have my little sanctuary. I mean, I think I deserve a reward for putting up with Miss Galinda Upland day in and day out!

So, anyway, that's my life as it stands right now. If Galinda tries any more to get into the sorcery seminar, I don't care if it's an unethical use of magic, I'm going to ask Madame for a spell to make her head explode. And I'll use it, too, don't think I won't!

Or maybe I could turn her into a toad. A big, fat, ugly, warty toad. Then she'd see about being green. Just let her and those insipid friends of hers call me an artichoke one more time, and they'll see what happens!

A perplexing thought: if I loathe Galinda so purely and completely, then why do I so desperately wish that I was just like her? (That's a good question, actually – curses, now I'm going to be up all night wondering…)

**xXxXx**

**Reviews make the world go 'round, my pretties.**


	4. A Not So Practical Joke

**A/N: Still perhaps the most boring chapter in the story, in my opinion. I just don't find this scene in the musical very interesting, although it is important for the motivation of Elphaba's character. Bear with it – you know who shows up in the next chapter… ;D**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the fight at the end.**

**xXxXx**

What with adjusting to college life, my worries for Nessa, and trying to make the best of my bad roommate situation ('trying' being the operative word here), I realize that I haven't written much about my actual classes. Although I've always done well in school (and I say that in the most modest sense possible!), I find schoolwork (and school in general) dull, pointless, and hardly worth wasting the time, effort, ink, and space in my diary to describe. However, since I don't have anyone else to tell about it, and I've already finished my assignments for tomorrow, I suppose I might as well try to write at least a little about what I do all day.

I have four classes, the typical courseload expected of an incoming first-year student. Introductory Life Sciences (yawn) and Mathematics (double yawn) are the bane of my existence, other than a certain blonde with whose name I will not soil this page. Then, of course, there's Madame's sorcery seminar, which I positively adore.

The last of my four classes, Ozian history, might well be my favorite after the sorcery seminar. It's taught by – you'll never believe this! – a Goat named Doctor Dillamond. I haven't had the pleasure of meeting many real, live Animals before, and the few I've met have been Beings of decidedly… average intelligence. It is truly a learning experience and a pleasure to know an Animal so well-educated as Doctor Dillamond is – why, there are many times that, if not for his hooves and horns, I would hardly take him for a Goat. He's extremely proud of his… well, Animal-ness, I suppose, and would never wish to be anything other than what he is – in fact, he'd probably take what I just wrote as an insult – but I really respect the old fellow, and that's the highest compliment I can think of to pay him.

Doctor Dillamond spends a lot of time talking about Animal rights here in Oz, and about all the new restrictions being placed on them. Sometimes, I'll admit, it does get a little irrelevant to whatever we're supposed to be learning, but he makes valid points, and I'm beginning to find myself being drawn more and more towards his cause. Take today in class, for example...

The entire class was present, accounted for, and seated at their desks when Doctor Dillamond entered the room, late as usual. "Settle down, now!" he directed after murmuring a brief apology for his tardiness. Then he began to pass back some papers that we had turned in a few days ago. "I have read your most recent essays. And I am amazed to report the progress! Although some of us still tend to favor form over content..." He cleared his throat and directed a pointed look at my roommate, who was sitting in the back of the room looking supremely bored, as he handed her back her essay. "Miss Glinda."

Barely bothering to glance up from whatever she was doing, Galinda took the paper and corrected him, as she does at least once or twice every class period, "It's GA-linda."

Doctor Dillamond frowned slightly, clearly not in the mood for Galinda's snobbery today. "Yes, of course. Excuse me... Glinda." I had to suppress a smile. Mispronouncing someone's name once may very well be an accident, but doing it twice in a row, especially after the person has corrected you, hints quite strongly of the intentional.

"I really don't see what the problem is," Galinda complained petulantly. "Every other professor seems to be able to pronounce my name."

Well, I've been listening to Galinda's whining on this subject since the first day of classes, and I'm so blasted sick of it! I couldn't stand it a clock-tick longer. I turned in my seat and shot her a glare. "Maybe perfecting the pronunciation of your precious name is not the sole focus of Doctor Dillamond's life. Maybe he's not like every other professor. Maybe some of us are different."

Galinda raised an eyebrow and cast a sly smile at a couple of the girls she had deigned to allow to sit next to her. "Oh! It seems the artichoke is steamed," she purred smugly.

Everyone giggled at the tasteless joke. My cheeks flaming, I slid down as far as I could go in my chair, glowering at Galinda and vowing silently to pay her out for embarrassing me like that. _Just wait until I get you alone_, I thought vengefully as I tried to send telepathic waves of pain and suffering her way. (Sadly, I don't think it worked – I'm not that advanced in sorcery yet.) _Then you'll be sorry!_

Doctor Dillamond clapped his hooves together for silence. "Class, class! Miss Elphaba has a point! As you know, I am the sole Animal on the faculty. The token Goat, as it were. But it wasn't always this way. Oh, dear students, how I wish you could have seen it as it once was." At this point, he gave a wistful sigh, and it became obvious that he was about to embark on another of his numerous trips down Memory Lane. "When you could walk down the halls and see an Antelope explicating a sonnet, a Snow Leopard solving an equation, a Wildebeest waxing philosophical. Don't you see, dear students, what is being lost? How our dear Oz is becoming less and less... well…" He paused long enough to cast a sidelong glance at me before finishing, "... colorful?" Then he pointed to the blackboard, upon which was drawn a detailed timeline of the history of Oz, and proceeded to begin the day's lecture. "Now, who can tell me what sent these events into motion?"

History has always been one of my better subjects, and this was a question that I've known the answer to since primary school. I raised my hand, and Doctor Dillamond nodded that I could answer. "From what I've read, it all started with the great drought."

"Exactly," he nodded. "Food grew scarce, people grew hungrier and angrier. And the question became, 'Whom can we blame?' Can anyone tell me what is meant by the term 'Scapegoat'?" I shot my hand up again, and Doctor Dillamond gave me a weary smile before glancing around the room. "Someone besides Miss Elphaba?" His eyes fell on someone in the back of the class, and a bit surprisedly he acknowledged, "Ah yes, Miss Glinda..."

"It's GA-linda... with a GA," she told him yet again. (If I hear that line one more time, I do believe I'm going to throttle the girl.) "And I don't see why you can't just teach us history instead of always harping on the past."

I had a sharp retort on the tip of my tongue ready to fling at her, but Doctor Dillamond spoke before I could. "Well, perhaps these questions will enlighten you." With that, he walked over to the blackboard and turned it over.

Everyone gasped as the reverse side of the board was revealed. Instead of the promised set of questions, a simple slogan met our eyes. There, chalked in huge blood red letters for all to see, was the sentiment, _ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD_.

The shock was so great that no one moved or made a sound for what must have been almost a full minute. Finally Doctor Dillamond managed, "Who is responsible for this?" Of course, no one put themselves forward as the guilty party. "I'm waiting for an answer," he warned, peering closely at every face in turn. When the culprit still did not confess, he let out a defeated sigh, and his shoulders slumped visibly. "Very well… that will be all for today," he said quietly. When no one moved – I don't think any of us believed he was serious at first – he repeated himself more forcefully. "You heard me, class dismissed!!!"

Surprised and disturbed by this unexpected turn of events, everyone gathered up their things and filed out of the room in silence. I was standing by the door, waiting for Nessa, when I noticed that Doctor Dillamond was standing very still, his back to me, staring at the words on the blackboard. "You go on ahead, Nessa," I whispered to my sister as she rolled up in her wheelchair. Seeming to understand, Nessa nodded and wheeled herself away.

Once she was gone, I stepped quietly back into the room. "Animals should be seen and not heard..." I read aloud from the board, wondering who could possibly believe such a thing.

Doctor Dillamond turned in surprise, then gave a wan smile when he saw that it was only me. "Oh, Miss Elphaba, don't worry about me. Go along and enjoy your friends."

"Oh that's all right. I have no friends," I told him, trying my best to make it sound as though this fact didn't bother me. Then, on a whim, I offered, "Would you like to share my lunch?"

"Oh, thank you! How kind."

I reached into my satchel and pulled out the sandwich I had grabbed on the fly from the dining hall this morning. Undoing the paper around it, I handed the wrapper to Doctor Dillamond (he is a Goat, after all!) before tucking into the sandwich itself. We ate without speaking for a minute or two. Then Doctor Dillamond caught sight of the vandalized blackboard, and slowly handed what was left of the paper wrapper back to me. "I seem to have lost my appetite."

"You shouldn't let ignorant statements like that bother you," I admonished my teacher. Then I realized how silly that sounded coming from me, of all people – you know how sensitive I am about my green skin! Wrapping up the remainder of my sandwich and tucking it back into my satchel, I added hastily, "I mean, I always do, but you shouldn't."

"Oh, Miss Elphaba," he sighed, "if only it were a simple matter of words on a chalkboard. But the things one hears these days... dreadful things!" And he began to talk, growing angrier and angrier. He related story after awful story of Animals that he knew who were being forced from positions of prominence, their rights horribly restricted – or, worst of all, losing their powers of speech altogether! "Something bad is happening in Oz," he told me with utter certainty, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Under the surface… behind the scenes. Something baaaaahhh…" He trailed off into a sound that I had never heard come out of his mouth before, a sound that I can only describe as… a bleat. Sounding as stunned as I was, he quickly amended, "Sorry… _bad_."

"Dr. Dillamond, are you all right?" I asked, concerned. "Shall I fetch you a glass of water?"

"No, no, I'm fine," he assured me quickly. "I don't know what came over me."

I studied him closely for a clock-tick or two, then decided to change the subject. "So, you're saying that there are Animals that have somehow… forgotten how to speak? But… how is that possible?"

"Well, with so much pressure not to... If you make it discouraging enough, you can keep anyone silent. But I, for one, will never let them stop me!"

Doctor Dillamond quickly cut himself off as Madam Morrible bustled in. "I heard there was some sort of disturburance in class. Are you all right, Doctor?" Then she caught sight of me. "Oh, Miss Elphaba, you're still here! I thought you would have been on your way to my seminar by now." The look she gave me said instead, You should be on your way to my seminar by now, if you know what's good for you.

Annoyed that we had been intruded upon just as Doctor Dillamond was getting to the most important part of the conversation, I replied, "Yes, Madam, ordinarily I would be, but..."

"'But'?" she interrupted. "I do hope I have not misplaced my trust in you. Magic is a demanderating mistress, and if one has ambitions of meeting the Wizard…" She cast a level look at Doctor Dillamond. "I'm sure Doctor Dillamond sees my point." Without waiting for my reaction, she swept out just as suddenly as she had entered.

I made a face at her back, but in the end there was nothing for it. "I'd better go," I said apologetically. At the door, I stopped and turned around. "Doctor Dillamond, if something bad is happening to the Animals, someone's got to tell the Wizard. He'll make things right. That's why we have a Wizard! So nothing bad will happen."

"I hope you're right, Miss Elphaba. I truly hope you're right."

My talk with Doctor Dillamond kept me preoccupied for the rest of the day, or at least until I got back to my room. Then Galinda and I had a most satisfying fight, which helped take my mind (at least briefly) off the morning's events.

The door to our room is very well oiled, and it opens without a sound. When I came in after classes, Galinda was sitting on her bed, her back to me, and I realized that she hadn't even noticed I was there. So I sneaked up behind her, grabbed her by the shoulders, and shouted, "BOO!"

She let out a piercing scream, jumped about a foot in the air, and turned to face me. When she saw who was standing there laughing herself silly, she shot me a frigid look and went back to the letter she was writing. "Oh, it's just you."

"Who were you expecting, Galinda," I asked sarcastically, "the Bogeyman?"

"At the moment, Elphaba, I would prefer the Bogeyman over you," she returned with a tight smile. "In fact, I'd prefer just about anyone over you."

"Well, aren't we just the epitome of politeness! Tell me, is that your proper Uplands upbringing showing itself, or do I just bring out the best in you?"

"Don't you dare criticize my upbringing," spat Galinda. "I can't help it if my parents didn't raise me to associate with the likes of you." Then she slowly looked me up and down and smiled, not nicely. "And my upbringing was obviously a far cry better than yours."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well… just look at you, Elphaba! For one thing, you have no sense of style whatsoever. Who taught you how to dress, an undertaker? No, I take that back – even an undertaker would have better taste than to saddle someone with that hideodeous excuse for a frock. And that… that thing you're always lugging around…"

"What, my satchel?"

"Oh, is that what you call it? Well, it doesn't go with anything else you ever wear. And that awful knit cap of yours… I don't even know where to begin. That thing is wrong on so many levels…"

I absolutely refused to be the slightest bit affected by Galinda's casual dissection of my fashion sense, or lack thereof. "Are you quite finished?" I wondered boredly.

"Oh, Elphaba, I haven't even begun," she laughed meanly. "But telling you everything that's wrong with you would take far more time and effort than I'm willing to waste on you. I think I've said enough for the moment."

"Good. Then it's my turn."

"Your turn? Oh, please! There's nothing about me that you, of all people, could possibly be in any position to criticize."

I laughed out loud at that one. "Oh, Galinda, you have no idea! There are so many things, I don't know where to start!"

"Oh, really? Like what?"

"Well, to begin with, you never take anything seriously – not school, not your friends, not anything. You act like life is one big party for your exclusive enjoyment."

"Why shouldn't I have fun while I can?"

"Because the real world isn't like that, Galinda! In the real world you have to work for a living, and you have to pay your bills, and there's crime, and pain, and suffering, and when you get out there into the real world, you aren't going to know what to do with yourself. You've got to get your empty head out of the clouds and wake up."

She blinked in surprise. Obviously, no one had ever dared to speak to her that way before. Then she smiled tolerantly. "Do you know what I think, Elphaba? I think you're just jealous of me. That's what this is all about."

"Me, jealous of you? Don't make me laugh!"

"It's so obvious, it's almost pathetic. You're jealous because you don't have all the pretty clothes, shoes, bags, or friends that I do – "

"You put them in that order?"

" – and you're taking it out on me by telling me that I'm wrong for enjoying them."

"If you really believe that, Galinda, then you're even stupider than I thought. I would never in a million years wish a life like yours on my worst enemy – even if you didn't already have it."

"Well, there's nothing in the world – no amount of money, dresses, shoes, or bags – that could ever get me to switch places with you, Elphaba. Not even for a single day. I'd hate to be you."

"You know, Galinda, I don't think I've ever known a single other person that I loathed so purely and completely as I do you. It's really amazing, even to me, how much I detest you."

"Oh, yeah? Well, let me tell you, the feeling's mutual. You have got to be the most disgusticified creature I've ever laid eyes on."

I didn't bother to ask where in Oz she came up with the word 'disgusticified.' "And you are the most infuriating, most catty, most giggly, most ridiculous, most… most blonde… argh!" I broke off with a cry of frustration. There were no words strong enough, mean enough, bad enough to tell Galinda what I think of her. Finally I shouted, "I can't stand you!!!"

"I can't stand you!" she hollered back.

By this time, we were both on our feet, screaming at the top of our lungs at each other. Then a sudden knock on our door interrupted our war of words. Since I was closer, I grudgingly stomped over to answer it, yanking open the door to reveal one of Galinda's friends – I think it was Pfannee, or maybe Shen Shen.

When she saw me standing there, a highly unwelcoming look on my face, she automatically backed up a step or two. "We heard shouting," she stated bravely. "Is everything all right in here?"

"Yes, we're fine. Nothing's wrong." I turned to my roommate with something akin to a smile, and asked through clenched teeth, "Is it, Galinda?"

She caught the warning in my eyes, and quickly shook her head. "Nothing whatsoever. We're both perfectly all right. But thanks for your concern, dear. I'll be down in just a minute."

"All right. See you later, then." Having been reassured that her idol was (presently) unharmed, the girl went on her way, and I closed the door behind her.

"Now then, where were we?" I snarled as soon as the door was back in place.

But Galinda brushed past me with an uninterested air. "I'm tired of shouting at you, Elphaba. I refuse to waste any more energy arguing. I'm going out now, and I'll probably be gone for the rest of the night. Don't bother waiting up for me."

"As if I ever would. I don't care one bit what time you come back, Galinda. In fact, I wouldn't care if you never came back. So have a lovely time."

Galinda made a face at me before snatching up her purse and taking herself haughtily off to meet up with her friends, and then I was left alone to enjoy a few precious, Galinda-free hours of peace and quiet.

Now that I have the chance to just sit and think, my earlier conversation with Doctor Dillamond keeps forcing itself on my mind. Some of the things he said were almost too horrid to be true. Surely such atrocities can't be taking place right here in Oz! But Doctor Dillamond is an incredibly learned man – er, Goat, and I trust that he knows what he's talking about. If Madam somehow manages to get me a meeting with the Wizard, I'll warn him about all this. He'll be very upset to learn what's going on – I can only assume that he doesn't know yet, because he's too good of a person to knowingly allow things like this to happen – but if anyone can do something about it, it'll be him. I'm sure he'll appreciate being informed.

**xXxXx**

**So, I've decided that from now on, I'm reposting this solely for my own satisfaction, because obviously it's not good enough for the vast majority of my readership to think it warrants a review. I don't blame you – I understand that the plot and the dialogue aren't in the least bit original, and I also understand that people have many demands on their time and don't have time to review everything they read, especially if it's not something original and creative. I'm not angry, I promise. I will simply no longer expect reviews for this story. Of course, if you want to make my day, go right ahead, but please don't feel obligated. My deepest thanks to those few of you who have reviewed, and especially to Phantomfr33k24601, who is the ONLY PERSON who has reviewed every chapter consistently.**


	5. If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em

**A/N: For some reason, "Dancing Through Life" is one of my favorite scenes in the show – I love all the dancing, and the little Christmas-light-looking things all around the stage, and all the pretty black and white costumes, and Fiyero in a tuxedo… .: smirks :. And "Popular" is absolutely hilarious if the actress playing Galinda really gets into it. The chapter's got a lot stuffed in, but hopefully it keeps you entertained. **

**Disclaimer: Do I look like Greg, Winnie, or Steve to you? No? Then it's not mine.**

**xXxXx**

A new boy arrived at school today, and Galinda is all in a tizzy over him. His name is Fiyero Tiggular, and apparently he's a prince from somewhere in the Vinkus. Galinda claims that he has a most "scandalacious" reputation (I have no idea what exactly that particular adjective is supposed to mean, nor do I care to find out), and declares him to be the handsomest creature she's ever laid eyes on – aside from herself, of course. She has gained this insight from all those OzBeat magazines she stuffs her empty blonde head with – the one thing she reads that I don't!

I will admit, Fiyero _is_ quite good-looking, and he knows it. He has reddish-brown hair that somehow manages to be short and shaggy at the same time, and even from the distant glimpse I got of him, I could see that his eyes are as blue as you could wish. Just for a moment, I let myself imagine what it might be like to look up into those blue eyes and lose myself… And then I nearly laughed out loud at myself for being such a fool. I have no business caring the least bit about him. No one like him has ever paid me a bit of attention, and I'm not about to hold my breath waiting for them to start now. Anyway, I'm much more interested to find out if he knows anything about the political situation in the Vinkus – the dynamics of the inter-tribal relations there have always fascinated me.

Galinda has heard through her friends that Fiyero is holding court outside in the yard. For once we agree on something! We're off to meet this Winkie prince and see if he's really as scandalacious as OzBeat Magazine reports.

**Later…**

Well, I might have guessed. The fellow's as empty-headed as my darling roomie. When we got down to the yard, Fiyero was in the process of listing all the schools he's been kicked out of. (I lost track at eight.) Then he announced that tonight we are going to have a dance, and that everyone is invited. The whole student body already seems to have accepted his philosophy of making it through life with as little effort as possible. How is it that he can just waltz in and get everyone to listen to him so easily? It just isn't fair! Intelligent, well-read, well-informed, thoughtful people don't seem to count for anything these days. I mean, the number of schools someone's been kicked out of should not be the basis for judging how popular he is! And neither should the fact that he's a prince. Or the amount of money he has. Or the kind of clothes he wears. Or the fact that he is tall, dark, and _very_ handsome…

Sweet Oz, I have no idea where _that_ came from! Fiyero is the last person in Oz who I could _ever_ see myself with – I mean, we are _nothing_ alike! And besides, even if I _did_ happen to like him (which I _don't!_), he and Galinda are already dating, starting with the party tonight. They were drawn to each other like magnets the instant they set eyes on each other. They're already Shiz's golden couple; nothing will ever come between them. They're perfect for each other.

Whatever I do, I _will not_ let myself fall under the spell of his blue eyes.

And no way in Oz am I going to that stupid dance.

**Even Later…**

All right, so I went to the stupid dance. But, believe it or not, it was actually almost… fun.

After discovering that Fiyero was not quite the paragon of knowledge I had hoped, I went to bemoan my troubles to Nessa. "It's absurd! This silly rich boy appears, and everyone's off to worship him at some cultish social gathering," I complained, finishing my account of the afternoon.

"Even me! I'm going!" Nessa burst out joyfully.

"What?!"

"I'm going to the dance! Oh, Elphaba, isn't it wonderful? Boq was too shy to ask me at first, but once Galinda encouragerized him – "

"Galinda?" I echoed suspiciously. This definitely bore all the signs of some evil plot or other by my blonde nemesis, and I didn't want my sister involved.

Nessa frowned. "Don't you dare say another word against her! I'm about to have the first happy night of my life, thanks to Galinda. Boq and I are perfect for each other. Galinda saw that and made it a reality. I just wish there were some way I could thank her." She paused and gave me a pleading look. "I know you don't like her. But please, Elphaba, try to understand."

I let out a heavy sigh and nodded, forcing my lips into a small smile. "I do." Seeing how happy my sister was, I didn't have the heart to tell her that Boq, an uncommonly tall Munchkin boy who we met on our first day at Shiz, is the charter member of the Galinda entourage, and that he'd probably only asked Nessa to the dance in hopes of gaining favor with Her Highness.

I quieted my protests and helped her pick out a dress for the party, and then headed back to my room. And as I walked, I realized something. This was the first time I could ever remember seeing Nessa look truly happy, like it didn't matter that she was in a wheelchair. And even if it was nothing more than part of one of her crazy ideas, it _was_ all thanks to Galinda. I, too, found that I wanted to repay her somehow. But what could I possibly give her? The girl has everything! _But wait…there __was__ one thing I had that she didn't…something I'd been keeping to myself…_

I recoiled at the thought. "Oh, no! No, no, NO! Sweet Oz, I'm not going to let her have _that_," I muttered. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that 'that' was exactly what I _had_ to give her.

I had to figure out a way to get Galinda into the sorcery seminar.

There was no help for it. There went my beloved sorcery class, my little safe haven to keep me from going Galinda-mad. What did Nessa care that I could easily lose my mind without _something_ Galinda- free? Saint Galinda, Galinda the Good, needed yet another accolade, something else to add to her already vast collection of everything she has that I don't.

By now, I had arrived back at my room. When I let myself in, Galinda was kneeling by one of her numerous trunks. With a resigned sigh, I stiffened my spine and began, "Galinda, listen, Nessa and I were talking about you just now, and – "

"And I was just talking about you," interrupted Galinda, startling me. Was she actually talking to me like a fellow human being of her own free will? She stood, grabbed something black and pointy out of the trunk, and walked over, holding it out to me. "I thought you might want to wear this hat to the party tonight!" I must not have looked too convinced – the idea of her offering me any sort of gift made me suspicious in and of itself – because she put on a winning smile and began pouring on the charm. "Oh, come on! Don't you think it's…uh…_sharp_? You know, all the fashion magazines say black is this year's pink. And a hat like this deserves to be worn by a girl as…as _smart_ as it is. So…here." She thrust the hat at me with a giggle. "Out of the sheer goodness of my heart."

Unsure how to handle this sudden gesture of kindness on Galinda's part, I cautiously took the hat from her. Her smile widened, and she swept off to go get ready for the dance with her friends. After she was gone, I studied her gift carefully.

When she had said it was sharp, Galinda wasn't kidding. The hat had a wide brim, and instead of being round to form to the wearer's head, the crown rose up into a stiff peak. I looked it over skeptically, not quite sure if I liked it or not. Still, Galinda had said I should wear it, and, much as I still despise her, I will say that no one knows more about fashion than she does. And I didn't think that empty golden head of hers could possibly be capable of coming up with something like this as a practical joke. I hadn't been planning to go to the dance, but maybe…

I thought quickly, trying to come up with something to wear. Borrowing one of Galinda's dresses was out of the question for several reasons. First, she'd have my head; second, she's about half a head shorter and several pounds heavier than me; and third, Galinda goes in for very feminine pastel colors – yellows, pinks, purples, blues - and her dresses are so frilly, with my green legs, I would look like a flower if I put one on. Finally I settled for taking off the sweater I usually wear under my sleeveless dress and replacing my knit cap with Galinda's hat. I put the thing on and then studied my reflection critically in her full-length mirror. The hat was like nothing I had ever seen before, but oddly enough, it somehow seemed almost made for me. I adjusted it to a jaunty angle, and the green girl in the mirror grinned at me. I did wish that I had a nicer pair of shoes (like maybe Nessa's!), but my same old dirty boots would have to do. My preparations complete, I set off. I wanted to find Madam Morrible before I went to the dance.

It took half an hour of arguing. In the end I had to threaten to quit the seminar if Madam didn't do what I asked. But I finally got her to agree to let Galinda into the sorcery seminar. Part of me was screaming at me not to do it, but the rest of me actually felt good doing something nice for Galinda. Once that was settled, I headed off to the party.

The instant I walked in, I knew I had been cruelly tricked. As I slowly came down the steps into the ballroom, everyone turned to stare at me. Then one of the girls Galinda hangs around with pointed and began to snicker. The girl next to her did the same, and I realized that they were probably the ones who had put Galinda up to giving me the hat. Soon everyone in the room was pointing and laughing at me and that vile hat.

When I saw their reactions to Galinda's "gift", I quickly pulled the thing off my head. For a few clock-ticks – all right, maybe a little longer than that – I wanted desperately to turn and run, to get out of there, to do anything to avoid being singled out yet again. But then I thought, _No. That's what they __want__ me to do. Then they can laugh at me for being a coward, too._ And then I figured out the one thing I could do. It might not stop them laughing _now_, but at least they wouldn't be able to laugh at me later for running away. So I caught Galinda's eye, and I slowly and deliberately settled the hat firmly back on my head, eliciting a gasp from the crowd.

Then I strode into the very center of the ballroom, the people parting before me to let me through. The room went completely silent, and I closed my eyes and started to dance. I have no idea where the things I did came from; I had never seen them anywhere before. I suppose some of the hand and arm movements were inspired by the gestures I've learned while casting spells in sorcery class, but the rest I pulled out of thin air. I could sense that everyone was still watching me, but at least they weren't laughing anymore.

Suddenly I completed a turn, and there she was – Galinda was standing right in front of me. I stopped dead in surprise, and we stared at each other for a long moment.

"May… I cut in?" she finally asked softly.

I didn't say a word, only nodded slowly, and she gave me a tentative smile. Then she began to mimic what I had done. I started repeating my movements along with her. Before I knew it, we were dancing in unison.

Well, now that Galinda was dancing with me, the musicians struck back up, and everyone else began to join in. Soon all of us were doing the dance I had just created. I even saw Boq wheeling Nessa around on the dance floor. She looked like she had died and gone to heaven. I gave my roommate a grateful smile, and we continued to dance.

Later, as we took a break from dancing to sample the punch (lemons and melons and pears – a most unusual combination), she explained why she had come out onto the dance floor and rescued me. The hat had originally been meant to humiliate me in front of everyone, but she had felt terrible about it after Madame came to the dance, gave her a training wand, and told her what I had done to get her into sorcery class. Then, when she saw everyone's reactions to it (and to my dancing), she hadn't been able to stand the guilt a clock-tick longer. Whatever the reason, we both realized that tonight marked a turning point between us. And, to tell you the truth, I do believe we were both very glad not to have to be sworn enemies anymore.

After the party, Galinda and I headed back up to our room. I think Galinda must have had one glass of punch too many, because she was slightly hysterical. "Your very first party? _Ever?_" she asked me incredulously, continuing a conversation we had begun earlier.

I shrugged. "Do funerals count?"

"But your _very first party!_" Galinda shook her head as though she couldn't quite believe it. Then her mind was off on a new tangent, and she ran over to plop down next to me on my bed. "Ooh, I know! Let's both tell each other something we've never told anyone! I'll go first: Fiyero and I are going to be married!" She trailed off into an excited squeal

I raised an eyebrow. "He's asked you already?"

She was immediately completely calm again. "Oh, no, he doesn't know yet," she informed me matter-of-factly. "Now you tell me a secret."

"Like what?"

"Like…why do you always sleep with this funny little green bottle under your pillow?" To my dismay, she pounced on my bed and grabbed the bottle.

"Give that back, Galinda!" I demanded, trying not to sound desperate.

"C'mon, tell me!" she wheedled, dangling the bottle just out of my reach. "Tell me tell me!"

"It was my mother's!" I made another grab for it, and finally managed to get my hands on it. Snatching it away from her, I turned my back and clutched it protectively. "That's all."

Neither of us spoke for a moment. "That's not fair. I told you a really good one," Galinda finally complained quietly, sounding sadly disappointed.

I swallowed hard. "My father hates me." At her stricken expression, I quickly shook my head. "No, that's not the secret. The secret is, he has a good reason. It's my fault…" I hesitated.

"What is?"

"That…that my sister is… the way she is." I paused, willing the words to come. "You see, when our mother was carrying Nessa, our father was worried that the new baby might come out…well…"

"Green," Galinda finished along with me.

I sighed and continued, "So he made my mother chew milkflowers, day and night. But that made Nessa come too soon, with her little legs all tangled. And my mother never woke up." I squeezed my eyes shut tight for a moment to fend off the tears that were threatening to spill over. "None of which would ever have happened if not for me."

Galinda listened in respectful silence to the rest of my story. Once I was finished, she said loyally, "But that was the milkflowers' fault, not yours. That might be your secret, Elphaba, but that doesn't make it true. And Elphie – do you mind if I call you Elphie?"

"Well, it's a little perky…" I protested halfheartedly, knowing that if she was determined to call me Elphie, my humble opinion on the matter wasn't about to change her mind.

"And you can call me…" she paused for effect, "…Galinda."

"Gee… thanks."

"Elphie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project," she continued importantly.

Faint alarm bells began ringing in my ears. "You really don't have to do that," I assured her quickly.

"I know. That's what makes me so nice."

Galinda spent the next hour or more instructing me in the art of being popular. First she attacked my hair. She took it out of its usual braid, pulling about half of it out in the process, and then tried to teach me how to toss it like she does. One can use one's head, one's hands, or one's full body to toss one's hair; however, whichever way one chooses, it is apparently of vital importance to mutter, "Toss, toss" under one's breath during performance of the act. (And I cannot _believe_ I just wasted space in my diary writing down all those instructions.)

Then she took away my glasses and pulled out a tube of some greasy pink stuff, which she proceeded to smear on my lips. It tasted so sweet, it was almost sickening. I wiped it off with the back of my hand as soon as she loosened the grip she'd gotten on my face to put it on.

After that, she ordered me to stand up and announced, "I will now transform your simple frock into a beautiful ballgown." She dramatically waved the wand Madam had given her earlier at the dance and proclaimed, "Ballgown."

I waited dutifully for a few seconds. Nothing happened.

Unfazed, Galinda brandished the wand again. "Ballgown!" she declared more forcefully.

Nothing again.

"Is this thing on?" she frowned, banging the wand several times into her other palm.

I couldn't help laughing as I held out my hand for the wand. "Do you want me to try?"

"No, no, I've got it," she insisted. But finally, after examining it closely, she gave up and tossed the wand over her shoulder. "Oh, just wear the frock, it's pretty!" Then she smiled. "And now for the finishing touch." She reached up to her own hair and pulled out a life-sized barrette of a rose that matched the frilly pink dress she had on. "Pink goes good with green," she informed me as she used the barrette to pin my hair back on the left side of my face. She stepped back to get the full effect of her work, and seemed genuinely surprised. "Why, Miss Elphaba…look at you," she said softly, passing me a hand mirror. "You're beautiful."

Giving her a disbelieving look, I took the hand mirror – and nearly gasped in shock myself. I almost didn't recognize the girl staring back at me.

She was still green, of course. Her face was angular, but not sharp or pinched like I seemed to remember it being. The long, dark hair framing her face, still wavy from the braid it had been in until a few minutes ago, did a great deal to soften the angles. Thanks to Galinda's having taken my glasses, the mirror-Elphaba's eyes were now visible. I was surprised to see that they were nicely shaped, surrounded by long dark lashes, a warm and pleasant shade of brown. Her lips still shone slightly from a bit of Galinda's sugary pink concoction that I hadn't managed to swipe away. The flower in her hair was the perfect accent. Galinda had been right; pink really _did_ go well with green. But I think what I noticed most was a subtle change in her expression. She looked more… peaceful now, like some sort of unconscious worry or burden had been lifted from her. The burden of loneliness.

And this sudden beauty that I saw in Galinda's hand mirror…was me.

As I studied my suddenly unfamiliar reflection, I was hit with an unexpected wave of emotion. All my life, I've had to depend on myself for whatever support I needed. Father was hardly likely to give me any help, Nessa was too much in need herself to be able to offer me anything, and I certainly never had any other friends I could lean on. Galinda is the first person who's ever really treated me like just another girl, no different from herself. And I wasn't prepared for how nice that felt.

But, of course, I wasn't about to cry in front of her, so I quickly stood up from where I was sitting on Galinda's bed. "I…I have to go," I choked out. Then I grabbed this diary and fled to the room where Madam and I (and now Galinda too) have our sorcery seminar. I've been writing here ever since.

Well, I suppose it's about time for me to finish up and head back. I don't want Galinda to worry about me. It's strange, but I'm much gladder than I would've expected that we're finally getting along. It would've been a long term if we had kept on the way we were. Maybe now that Galinda and I are (dare I say it?) friends, people won't stare at me so much. The students here at Shiz seem to have a real staring problem. Didn't their mothers ever teach them that it's rude?


	6. Causing Commotion

**A/N: Okay, so I made this more romantic and angsty than it used to be. Hope you like it.**

**I'm working on a "Lost and Found" update, I SWEAR! But I'm having the most horrendible case of writer's block. Other than that, blame the extreme delay on babysitting and my new job, which between them have consumed every last clock-tick of what was once my free time.**

**Disclaimer: If I only owned the rights…**

Oh, what a day! I really should be in bed asleep, but after everything that happened today, my mind is racing too quickly to let me doze off. Maybe if I write it all down, I'll be able to get some sleep.

It all started this morning before Doctor Dillamond's class. Today Galinda refused to let me out of the room unless I put on a different outfit than the one I usually wear. I pled, argued, and threatened, but she wouldn't budge. I, for my part, absolutely refused to wear what she had picked out for me. (You don't want to know. Trust me.) In the end, we reached a compromise – she let me wear my sleeveless dress, but I had to put on a white jacket over it that she gave me. Then she insisted upon fixing my hair, and used the pink flower barrette she gave me the night of the dance. She even talked me into letting her put some blush and that awful lip stuff on me. I know now that it's actually called lip _gloss_, but I just call it disgusticified. (Recognize that word from Galinda? She once used it to describe me.)

Anyway, much to my surprise, I was feeling a sight more confident than usual when I walked into Doctor Dillamond's classroom. I set my books down and tossed my hair like Galinda taught me, just in case anyone happened to notice. "Toss, toss," I repeated quietly to myself.

And as it turned out, someone _did_ happen to notice. I turned, and there was Fiyero, watching me, the corners of his mouth turning up. "What?" I demanded.

"Nothing." He shook his head, chuckling. "It's just…you've been Galinda-fied." Then he lowered his voice and grew serious. "You don't have to do that, you know," he said softly.

Just for a clock-tick or two, our eyes locked. And the way he looked at me, just for that moment, I could almost have believed that there was a brain behind those gorgeous blue eyes after all.

Then Doctor Dillamond bustled in even more briskly than usual, without the usual apology for his lateness. "All right, take your seats, class," he began. "I have something important to say, and very little time." He heaved a deep sigh as he looked around the room. "This is my last day here at Shiz. I am no longer permitted to teach. I want to thank you for sharing your enthusiasm, your essays, however feebly structured, and even, on occasion – " he cast a quick glance at me, " – your lunch."

Just then, Madame rushed in, looking terribly distressed. "Doctor Dillamond! I'm so dreadfully sorry."

I hurried over to her. "Madame, we've got to do something!" I begged her.

"Miss Elphaba, they can take away my job, but I will continue speaking out!" Doctor Dillamond promised me. Two uniformed scientists entered the room and each grabbed him by an arm. "They are not telling you the whole story! Remember that, class! Remember that!" The scientists began to drag him towards the door. In another clock-tick, he was gone. Just like that.

"Doctor Dillamond!" I stared after them, dumbfounded. Then I turned to the other students. "Well, are you all just going to sit here in silence?" I demanded.

None of them answered. Some cast their gazes down to the floor; others seemed to suddenly find their textbooks utterly absorbing; still more let their eyes rove around the room – but no one looked at me. Finally Madame put a hand on my shoulder. "Miss Elphaba, there is nothing we can do," she said gently. "Please, take your seat."

As I dejectedly obeyed her, a new professor – a _human_ professor – entered. He began a pompous and utterly nonsensical lecture on how all the laws restricting Animal rights actually represent progress in Oz. To demonstrate his point, he pulled aside a cloth that was covering a small table he had wheeled in, revealing a sort of box made of iron bars. Trapped inside was a tiny Lion cub. I began to feel sick to my stomach.

"This is called a cage," he explained smugly. "This remarkable innovation is actually for the Animal's own good."

Unable to help myself, I shot to my feet and took a few angry steps towards him. "If it's so good for him, then why is he trembling?" I asked sarcastically.

"He's just…excited to be here, that's all." The professor gave me a disgustingly fake smile, then looked down and angrily smacked the bars of the cage with a pair of metal tongs he had taken from a compartment on the side of the cart. I hated to give up without more of a fight, but I was afraid that if I kept on, he might take it into his head to punish me by hurting the Cub, and I wasn't about to let that happen. I reluctantly made my way back to my seat and sat down, still fuming. "Now, as I was saying, one of the benefits of caging a Lion cub – or any Animal, for that matter – while he's young is that he will never, in fact, learn how to speak."

I stiffened in my seat. "Oh, no…"

The man gestured for the class to gather around the cage. I was dimly conscious that the lecture was continuing, but at the moment, that was the last thing on my mind. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Fiyero sitting next to me. (It had been the only open seat in the room when we sat down at the beginning of class, or I'm sure he wouldn't have been there.) Apparently he wasn't terribly interested in the latest developments in modern technology, either.

As everyone pushed to the front of the classroom to get a better look at the Cub in the cage, I jumped up again and began to pace. "Can you imagine a world where Animals are kept in cages and they never learn to speak?" I asked Fiyero, for lack of anyone better to whom I could vent my frustration. His only response was to give me an odd look.

"Now, he may seem a bit agitated," the professor said just then, his smile stiffening, "but that's easily remedied…" He produced a giant hypodermic syringe filled with some green liquid.

I looked at Fiyero in horror. "What should we do?" I wondered aloud, trying not to panic.

He raised an eyebrow. "Um, excuse me… 'we'?"

Disgusted by his utter apathy, I turned my back to him and tried to figure something out. I thought of poor Doctor Dillamond, dragged off to who-knows-where just because someone believes that Animals should be seen and not heard. And this poor little Lion cub, doomed to a mute life of scientific experimentation unless I intervened. But what could I possibly do? I felt completely helpless. It made me so _angry…!_ Exasperated, I shook my head. "Well, somebody has to… _do something!!!_"

Suddenly, sparks seemed to fly everywhere. There was a huge crash. Everyone sprang away from the cage and started jumping around crazily. Startled, I turned away… to find Fiyero staring at me, his eyes wide.

"What's happening?" he demanded frantically.

"I don't know," I told him, feeling as scared as he looked. "I just…got mad, and…"

"All right. Just don't move." He held up both hands. "And don't get mad at _me_." Fiyero quickly made his way through the maze of wildly moving people and grabbed the caged Lion cub. "Well, are you coming?"

I nodded wordlessly, and we ran together from the classroom.

"Careful! Don't shake him!" I scolded as we fled.

"I'm not!" protested Fiyero.

"We can't just let him loose anywhere, you know. We have to find someplace safe…"

"Don't you think I realize that? You must think I'm really stupid or something!"

I considered this. "No, not _really_ stupid," I finally decided.

After a moment or two, Fiyero spoke again. "Why is it that every time I see you, you're causing some sort of commotion?"

"I don't _cause_ commotions. I _am_ one."

"Well, that's for sure!" he muttered under his breath. Or at least, he probably thought he did. But I still heard him.

"Oh, so you think I should just keep my mouth shut! Is that what you're saying?" I asked indignantly.

"No, I'm – "

But now my blood was up. "Do you think I _want_ to be this way?" I interrupted him. "Do you think I _want_ to care this much? Do you think I don't know how much easier my life would be if I didn't?"

"Do you ever let anyone else talk?" wondered Fiyero, sounding at his wit's end.

The question startled me out of my tirade, and I realized that I had been rambling, and that he had been trying for several clock-ticks to get a word in edgewise. "Oh. Sorry," I apologized a bit sheepishly. "But can I just say one more thing?" Fiyero rolled his eyes, but nodded permission. "You could've just walked away back there."

"So?"

"So…no matter how shallow and self-absorbed you pretend to be…"

"Excuse me, there's no pretense here," interrupted Fiyero, giving me a disdainful look. "I happen to be _genuinely_ self-absorbed and _deeply_ shallow."

I thought about that for a clock-tick or two. Then I shook my head. "No you're not. Or you wouldn't be so unhappy."

For an instant he stared at me in surprise, and a strange expression crossed his face – almost as if I had uncovered a truth about him that Fiyero didn't like to admit, even to himself. But he quickly masked it with a short, uncomfortable-sounding laugh. "Fine. If you don't want my help…" He turned and started to walk off.

"No, no, I do!" Thinking only to keep him there with me, to prevent him from leaving me alone to deal with the stolen Lion cub, I reached out and caught him by the hand, stopping him in his tracks.

And then something amazing happened. It was like someone had switched on an electric current between us. I've never felt a connection so strong with anyone before in my life. I looked down at our hands in surprise, then up at Fiyero – and found that he was looking right back at me, an expression on his face that exactly mirrored what I was feeling. We stared at each other for several agonizingly long moments. Then I finally released my grip on his hand and looked away, trying to keep from blushing. (I don't think I succeeded…)

We went on in silence a little longer until we were on the edge of the woods that surround Shiz. "This looks like a good spot," Fiyero suggested.

I agreed with a nod. "He'll be safe here." Fiyero set the cage down, and I knelt beside it to peer at the cub. "Oh, poor little thing, his heart is racing! I didn't mean to frighten him…"

"What _did_ you mean to do?" asked Fiyero quietly. He knelt down beside me and fixed me with an intense look. "And why was I the only one you didn't do it to?"

I had been asking myself the same question, but with him so close to me, looking at me like that, I suddenly found that I couldn't form a coherent response. So instead of answering, I turned my attention to the cub. When I glanced back up at Fiyero, I noticed a smudge of red across his cheek. "You're bleeding," I realized, not sure why I was so concerned.

"I am?" He raised a hand to his face near where I had indicated, and then checked his fingertips for any sign of blood.

I nodded. "It must have scratched you."

We were now looking directly into each other's eyes. "Yeah," Fiyero said softly. "Or maybe it scratched me…or something." We sat like that for a moment or two. Then, very slowly and hesitantly, I reached up to wipe away the blood. I ran my fingertips across his cheek, and for some strange reason I had the strongest urge to let them rest there. Suddenly I was terribly embarrassed, though I wasn't sure why, and I pulled my hand back at the same moment he moved slightly away from me. We both stood quickly, and I noticed that Fiyero seemed as flustered as I was. "I'd better get to safety…" he began, and moved towards the cage just as I was taking the exact same path to move away from it.

We stood face to face for a clock-tick, and then I quickly stepped aside with a short, awkward laugh, gesturing for him to go first. "Yes, of course."

"I mean the cub…get the cub to safety," he corrected himself hastily as he picked up the cage.

"Right."

Fiyero trekked off into the trees to set the cub free, and I stood looking after them until they were out of sight. Then I headed back to class, where I found it strangely difficult to focus on anything. I saw Fiyero a little while later while I was eating lunch, and he gave me an almost imperceptible nod, which I took to mean that the Lion cub had been successfully released.

I didn't let myself think about the time I had spent with Fiyero for the rest of the day. But now, sitting here alone in my room, I can't help but remember it. The way he looked at me…he didn't seem to see Elphaba the weird green girl, or Elphaba the freak with strange powers. To him, I was just… Elphaba. Just me. And I can still feel the connection that seemed to form between us when our hands touched. And I can't stop thinking about that strange impulse I had to let my hand linger when I touched his cheek. And looking into his eyes was everything I had dreamed…

Sweet Oz, what am I saying?! I must have lost my mind! I've got to get a hold of myself. Fiyero and Galinda are a couple, as everyone at Shiz knows. There's no way he'd choose me over someone like her. She's everything a girl is supposed to be – pretty, rich, popular…and not green. I'm just deluding myself if I think I'll ever get him to notice me again.

I'm sure it's all for the best. I mean, Galinda would probably become unbearable (as if she isn't already!) if I stole her alleged future husband. As if that would ever happen. Still, I realized today that Fiyero has more of a brain than I previously gave him credit for. Now I find myself wishing for the opportunity to find out just how much of a brain he truly has. And I wouldn't be at all averse to getting another chance to stare into those amazing blue eyes of his, either.

Oh, who am I trying to fool? I can't let myself start wishing like that. It's far too dangerous. Wishing only leads to heartache. One more dream that will never come true. I wasn't born to get everything I want, like Galinda seems to have been. It's no use wishing for something that you know will never happen no matter how hard you want it. I'm certainly no stranger to wanting things I can never have; it's the story of my life… so why does this hurt so much?

Ordinarily I could ask Galinda about something like this. She's an expert on dealing with boys; she'd be able to tell me what to do. Except, of course, I can't go to Galinda, because I mustn't ever let her find out that I've fallen hard for her boyfriend. She'd never speak to me again if she knew. No, I have to deal with this just like I do with every other problem I have: alone. Sometimes I wonder if I'm destined to be alone forever.

Oh, curse these tears. So embarrassing. I'd better stop before they smear the ink.


	7. We're Off to See the Wizard

**A/N: I separated this scene from the lion cub scene in the last chapter because I wanted to end last chapter with angst. This is the shortest chapter in the story, and I don't like it, but hopefully you can bear the boringness long enough to read it. It's kind of important… I guess…**

**Disclaimer: I checked. Still not mine. .: sigh :.**

**xXxXx**

This will have to be quick. I'm snatching the few minutes between Madame's sorcery seminar and Life Sciences to write. I just couldn't wait to share the exciting news Madame just gave me!

As Galinda and I were packing up after the sorcery seminar, Madame came over and asked me to stay after for a minute. Once Galinda was gone, she gestured to me to follow her up to her desk.

"Oh, Miss Elphaba, I've finally heard back from the Wizard!" she told me, her eyes shining. "And my dear, he wishes to meet you!"

I could hardly believe my ears. "He asked for me? _Personally?_"

"Yes! Isn't it wonderful?" She laid a hand on my shoulder. "I know how devastrated you were the other day for our poor Doctor Dillamond, but I can assure you, my dear, as one door closes, another one opens." She picked up an emerald green envelope with a large gold seal from her desk and handed it to me.

"Madame, I don't know what to say! How can I ever thank you?" I grinned, throwing my arms around her.

Madame laughed and hugged me back. "Oz-speed, my dear! Make me proud."

"I will. I'll try."

I left the room feeling as though I was walking on air. The Wizard asked to meet me! Me, Elphaba, the girl with green skin and freaky powers! I can't believe it! I get a private audience with him! For once in my life, one of my dreams is coming true! Good things like this never happen to me. Maybe my luck in life is finally turning around.

I leave for the Emerald City tomorrow. I'll have to get up ridiculously early – it'll take a couple of hours at least to get there on the train, and I want to arrive a day early to give myself plenty of time to prepare. I'm glad it's all happening so fast. This way, I'll hardly have time to be nervous!


	8. One Short Day

**A/N: Decided to split this up from the next chapter, because I felt that having this at the beginning sort of detracted from all the emotion in chapter 9. I like the Glinda/Elphaba friendship moments in this chapter, as well as the very subtle Fiyeraba moments. Hope you like it, too!**

**FINALLY found out how to make the little line that goes across the page! Thanks, Lauren!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked. I only play with the characters for the benefit of myself and my readership. I'll put them back relatively unscathed when I'm done, I promise…**

* * *

Well, here we are, on a train bound for the Emerald City! Oh, sorry, I forgot – you don't know yet that Glinda (no, I didn't misspell it; I'll explain in a moment) came with me!

Galinda came with me to the train station this morning to see me off. As I got ready to board the train, she gave me some last-minute advice. "Remember, eye contact. And don't forget to tell him how wonderful he is – Wizards love that! And be yourself..." She paused, then added, "Well... within reason."

Just then Nessa arrived, wheeled in her chair by Boq. "Elphaba, I'm so proud of you," she smiled, "and I know Father would be, too. We're all proud, aren't we?"

"You'll be all right, won't you?" I asked her worriedly, for about the thousandth time.

"She'll be fine!" Galinda assured me. "Biq will take care of her, won't you, Biq?"

"It's Boq," the poor boy corrected her, probably also for about the thousandth time, his voice oddly strangled. "I... I can't do this anymore." And before any of us could stop him, he ran off.

"Boq..." Nessa called after him, alarmed.

"Nessa, maybe he's just not the right one... for you," Galinda said hesitantly.

"No, it's me that's not right," Nessa told her dejectedly. Then she turned to me. "Don't worry about me, Elphaba, I'll be fine. Safe journey." With that, she wheeled herself away after Boq.

"Nessa, wait!" I shouted after her. But either she couldn't hear me, or she didn't want to. In another moment she, too, was out of sight.

I was about to go after her, but Galinda put a restraining hand on my arm. "Let her go. She'll have to manage without you. We all will."

Her last comment surprised me, and I gave a short laugh. "Please, you'll barely even notice I'm gone. Besides, you have Fiyero." I stopped, suddenly realizing that he hadn't come with her. "Where is he, anyway?" I wondered. Then, aware how strange it sounded that I was asking about him, I quickly added, "Not that I expected him to say goodbye to me. We barely know each other."

Surprisingly, the reminder of Fiyero didn't cheer Galinda up like I had expected it to. Her shoulders slumped, and she shook her head with a sigh. "I don't know him either," she confessed, sounding on the verge of tears. "He's distant, and moodified… and he's been _thinking_… which really worries me." I fought back a smirk at that as she continued, "It all started the day Doctor Dillamond got fired. I never knew how much he cared about that old goat." Then her face suddenly brightened. "Oh, there he is! He did come!" she pointed over my shoulder, and began waving madly. "Fiyero! Over here, dearest!"

Fiyero caught sight of her and picked his way through the crowd to join us. He carried a bouquet of lovely red poppies, which, to my great surprise, he handed to me. "Elphaba, I'm happy for you," he told me with a smile.

Galinda looked slightly confused, but pasted on a smile as well. "Yes, we're both so happy."

"Uh…listen, Elphaba, I've been thinking..." Fiyero began.

"Yes, I've heard," I told him with a straight face, casting a wry glance at Galinda.

"About that Lion cub and... everything," he continued. "I think about that day a lot."

"Really?" I blinked in surprise, and he nodded. Of all the things I might have expected to hear him say, this was certainly fairly close to the bottom of the list. The unexpectedness of it startled me enough that I forgot to keep up my defenses, and I admitted with a small, rather shy smile, "So do I."

Galinda was looking from Fiyero to me and back again, sensing that there was something she was missing here. Finally she piped up, "Me too! Poor Doctor Dillamond! It makes one want to... uh... take a stand. So I've been thinking of... uh... changing my name." It was obvious, to me at least, that this was a desperate ploy to regain Fiyero's attention.

And apparently it worked, because he looked at her in surprise. "Your name?"

Delighted with her success, she exclaimed, "Well, yes! Since Doctor Dillamond had his own way of pronouncing my name, in solidarity and to express my… my _outrage_, I will henceforward be known no longer as Galinda, but as simply… Glinda."

Fiyero and I looked at each other. "Well, that's very admirable of you... Glinda," he offered finally. Then he turned to me. "Elphaba, good luck." He nodded to both of us, and then he, too, left to go back to Shiz.

Once he was gone, Galinda's – or rather, Glinda's – smile evaporated like the morning mist around us. "There, you see?" she asked, gesturing to his retreating back, and I realized to my dismay that her eyes were full of tears.

"Oh, don't cry, Galinda," I began, doing my best to make my voice reassuring.

"It's Glinda now," she snapped as she dug through her purse for a tissue. "Stupid idea. I don't even know what made me say it."

" It doesn't matter what your name is! Everyone loves you!" I reminded her encouragingly.

"I don't care! I want _him_. I don't even think he's perfect anymore, and I _still_ want him!" Her eyes widened as she realized, "This must be what other people feel like. Oh, how do they bear it?"

I couldn't help laughing a little at that before putting my arms around her. As we hugged tightly, I had a sudden inspiration. "Glinda…come with me."

"Where?" she asked, not lifting her head from where she had laid it on my shoulder.

"To the Emerald City," I told her.

That perked her right up. "Really? I've always wanted to see the Emerald City! Oh, Elphie, do you really mean it?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't, Glinda," I assured her, unable to keep from grinning at her enthusiasm. "Well, if you're coming, you'd better hurry up and buy a ticket." She nodded and ran off to get in line at the ticket counter.

Now here we are, albeit a few hours later than I intended (Glinda had to go back to our room and pack for the trip, which took a positively ridiculous amount of time), chugging our way towards the Emerald City and our meeting with the Wizard. Glinda is sitting beside me, chattering nonstop about all the amazing things we're going to see. Somehow I suspect that her definition of 'amazing' isn't quite the same as mine. Still, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I'm glad I get to experience it with my best friend. (Well, technically, she's my _only_ friend, but you get the point!)

The conductor just came through and told us we'll be arriving in a few minutes. Oh, I'm so excited, I can hardly sit still! This is the day I've waited for my entire life! After I meet the Wizard, my whole life will be different. No one will ever see me the same way again. I'll finally get the respect I deserve – no more laughing, no more pointing, no more staring.

And I can't wait.


	9. Shattered Illusions, Ruined Dreams

**A/N: Still one of my favorite chapters of the story; still my favorite song of the show. I didn't make a huge amount of changes to this one, other than to add some dialogue that my copy of the script left out for some reason and flesh the beginning and the end out a bit. I hope it does justice to the song, and to the incomparable Idina Menzel, who (at least, in my humble opinion) will always sing it better than anyone else.**

**Disclaimer: With all the money I'm making working countless hours at my new job, maybe I'll be able to buy the rights from Greg, Winnie, and Steve. .: sarcastic snort :. Yeah, and maybe someday Pigs will sprout wings and fly.**

* * *

Sweet Oz, how could everything have gone so horribly wrong? Rereading the end of my last entry, I realize that what I wrote is absolutely true…but not at all in the way I would have expected or ever wanted. I want, almost need, to go back over it in my mind – maybe reliving the day will help me figure out what happened, where it all went south. 

Glinda and I had arrived a day early, as I had originally planned to do, so we spent the rest of the day exploring the Emerald City. She insisted on bringing me with her into shop after shop after shop, and in return I made her come with me to visit libraries and museums and admire the amazing architecture. She even dragged me along to this show, Wiz-O-Mania. It was silly and overpriced and not even that great, but I was too excited to care. I was just amazed that here was a place where everything was green – and nobody seemed to mind! In the Emerald City, I wasn't the oddity, the freak. Nobody was pointing or staring at me. It was the first time I've ever felt that way… like I truly belonged.

This morning it was time to go to the palace for our meeting with the Wizard. We were both so nervous – Glinda must've asked me a hundred times in about two minutes if her dress and her hair looked all right. We waited for what felt like forever, but finally the guards let us into the throne room. When we were ushered in, there didn't seem to be anyone around. All we could see was a huge mechanical head mounted on some sort of platform. Suddenly it came to life and began to speak in a voice as loud as thunder, and far more frightening.

"I am Oz, the Great and Terrible! Who are you, and why do you seek me?"

Glinda yelped in fright and scooted behind me. "Say something!" she whispered to me.

"Uh... uh… I… I'm Elphaba Thropp, your terribleness!" I managed to stammer, trying to keep Glinda from throttling me with the hold she had around my neck.

"Oh, is that you, Elphaba?" a different voice, a much softer and kinder one, asked, sounding surprised. This time it wasn't coming from the head itself, but rather from behind it. "I didn't realize!" There was a flurry of noise behind the head, and then a small, elderly man in a trenchcoat, goggles, and rubber gloves made his way out into the throne room with us. "I hope I didn't startle you. It's so hard to make out peoples' faces from back there. So, let's see... which is which?" The Wizard studied both of us for several clock-ticks before finally coming forward and grabbing both of my hands delightedly. "Elphaba!" Then he turned to Glinda. "And you must be…"

"Glinda. The 'Ga' is silent," Glinda informed him importantly.

I slowly walked over and, after hesitating a moment, ran my hand over the contours of the giant face.

"I know. It isn't much, is it?" the Wizard asked apologetically, seeing me. "But people expect this sort of thing, and you have to give the people what they want. The thing is, I hardly ever let anyone meet the real me." He paused, and a smile spread across his face. "But, this being a special occasion…"

"I'm so happy to meet you." My smile matched his.

"Well, that's good," he laughed. " 'Cause that's what I love best: making people happy!"

"Yes, I know, Your Ozness," I assured him. Then, seeing a perfect opportunity to lead into telling him about Doctor Dillamond and what was happening to the Animals, I added, "That's why we've come. You see, we're not just here for ourselves."

"We're not?" asked Galinda, sounding as though this was news to her.

"No, we're not," I confirmed, taking her by the hand and pulling her forward to stand next to me. Then I turned back to the Wizard. "We're here to alert you that something bad is happening."

"Please. I'm the Wizard of Oz," the old man scoffed with a smile. "I already know why you've come."

"Oooooh!" Glinda and I looked at each other, impressed.

"And I fully intend to grant your request. Of course, you must prove yourself first..."

Glinda shoved me forward. "Prove yourself, prove yourself!" she hissed in my ear.

"But how?" I asked timidly.

"Oh, it's a simple little thing," the Wizard assured me. "Nothing, really. Mostly just for show. Just so I can get an idea of your skills." He thought for a moment, and then proclaimed, "Aha! I have it!" Clapping his hands, he shouted, "Madame, the book!" To Glinda's and my astonishment, who should walk in but our very own Madame Morrible! Grinning at our surprise, the Wizard continued, "I believe you're well acquainted with my new Press Secretary."

"Press Secretary?" I repeated. There was something not quite right about this. There had to be more than they were telling us. But I couldn't put my finger on just what they were hiding.

"Oh, yes, dearies, I've risen up in the world," Madame grinned. "You'll find that the Wizard is a very generous man. If you do something for him, he'll do much for you."

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what exactly it was that she had done for the Wizard to earn such a sudden promotion (though I wasn't sure I really wanted to know). But instead I squared my shoulders and inquired, "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, this is my monkey servant Chistery," explained the Wizard, gesturing to a monkey who had just appeared. "He looks so longingly at the birds every morning..."

Madame finished, "So the Wizard was thinking, perhaps… a levitation spell."

Then Glinda noticed the book Madam was holding. "Is that the Grimmerie?" she asked in awe.

"Yes, the ancient book of spells and enchantments," Madame confirmed.

"It's kind of a recipe book for change," interjected the Wizard.

"Can I touch it?" whispered Glinda reverently.

Madame leaned closer and whispered back, "No." Then she came forward and held the book out to me.

I took the Grimmerie and carefully opened it, kneeling down so I could spread it open fully on the floor in front of me. "What funny writing..." I mused softly, running my fingers over the lines of text.

"Well, it's a lost language. The lost language of spells," Madam reminded me. "Don't be discouraged if you can't decipherate it, dearie. I myself can only read a spell or two, and that took me years."

I nodded and looked down at the page and the strange characters before me. I knew it was no alphabet I had ever seen before, and I had no expectation of being able to read it. But then something very strange happened. Nothing about the book or the spell changed. The unfamiliar letters still looked the same. But I suddenly found that, though I couldn't read it, I could…understand it somehow.

"Aven… Tatey… Aven Tatey, Aven Tatey…" I began chanting quietly, tentatively. I dimly heard conversation going on around me, but casting the spell had put me into a sort of trance. "Ah May Ah Tay Ah Tum Ditum…" I continued, more confident now. My voice grew in force and volume as I pronounced, "Ah May Ah Tah Tay May Tu Se Say Ta!" Suddenly a scream broke through the daze the spell had put me into. Startled, I turned to see Chistery jerking violently, howling in pain. "What happened? Is something wrong?" I demanded, worried that I had mispronounced a word or made some other such error.

"No, just a transition, dearie," Madam assured me. Why did I suddenly seem to notice that behind her smile there was now a gleam of malicious anticipation?

Chistery's shrieks continued. "No, stop, it's hurting him!" I pleaded. I was getting more certain every moment that I had made an awful mistake.

"She's actually done it!" cried the Wizard in glee. And then – I'll never forget the sight as long as I live – _a pair of wings exploded from the poor monkey's shoulders!_ He began cavorting around the room, testing them out.

"No!" I gasped, horrified at what I had done. "Quick, how do I reverse it?"

"You can't!" Madam told me, apparently thrilled with the direction things were going.

"What?!"

"You can't reverse a spell! Spells are unreversible!" She turned delightedly to the Wizard, who was also grinning from ear to ear. "I knew she had the power! I told you!"

I didn't want to believe it, but my teacher, the woman who taught me everything about sorcery that I know, and the Wizard of Oz himself, the man I had looked up to since I was a little girl, had betrayed me. "You… you planned all this?"

"Well, you benefit too, dearie! You benefit, too," she pointed out.

"And this is only the beginning!" crowed the Wizard. "Look!" Before our eyes, the rest of Chistery's monkey companions also sprouted wings and began to flap around above our heads. "If this is what you can do your first time out, the sky's the limit!"

"Such wingspan!" Madame exulted. "Won't they make perfect spies?"

"Spies?!" I fairly shrieked.

"You're right, that's a harsh word," agreed the Wizard hastily. "How about… scouts? That's what they'll be, really. They'll fly around Oz. Report any subversive Animal activity."

At his last words, I felt as though I'd been kicked in the stomach. "So… so it's _you?_ _You're_ behind it all?" So Doctor Dillamond had been right – something bad _was_ happening in Oz. Only it was worse than he ever imagined.

"Well, I am Oz, the Great and Terrible," he reminded me with an apologetic shrug. The words didn't sound nearly so imposing when he wasn't saying them from behind his giant head. "Who else would it be?" Then, seeing that he was quickly losing my trust, he explained, "Elphaba, when I first got here, there was such discord and discontent. And where I'm from, everyone knows the best way to bring people together is to give them a really good enemy."

"You can't read this book at all, can you?" I realized sickly, clutching the Grimmerie tightly to my chest. "_That's_ why you need an enemy… and spies… and cages. You have no real power!"

The Wizard nodded. "Exactly. That's why I need _you_. Don't you see? The world is your oyster now! You have so many... opportunities ahead of you!" He turned to include Glinda, who had been unwontedly quiet this whole time. "You both do!"

I knew his flattery and cajoling would be too much for Glinda's adoration-craving ego to resist. "Thank you, your Ozness," my roommate said gravely.

But I would not be persuaded. I would never work for someone who had deceived me so cruelly and with so little guilt. "_NO!_" I screamed at the top of my lungs. And before any of them could stop me, I stuffed the Grimmerie into my satchel and ran from the room.

I heard shouting behind me, and then the booming voice of the oversized head, more likely than not ordering the guards to come after me. I pounded down the long corridor until I found a stairway. Just before the door of the stairs closed, I heard the sound of running feet behind me. I started to climb as fast as I could.

But soon I got tired, and I was obliged to slow down. The footsteps I had heard were gaining on me, now just a flight or two of stairs back. I glanced over the railing to see what kind of force I'd be dealing with…and was surprised to see that it was only Glinda. I stopped and allowed her to catch up to me before going on.

"Elphie, wait! Where are you going?" she panted, following me as I continued my ascent.

The flights of steps suddenly dead-ended. "Oh no! There are no more stairs!" I moaned. Then I caught sight of a door to my right. "This must be the attic..." It was our only hope. I reached out and tested the knob, and surprisingly, it was unlocked. Glinda followed me inside, and we stood side by side, blinking in the dim half-light of the empty, dusty room.

"Elphaba, listen to me..." she began hesitantly.

"The guards are coming up – I have to barricade the door!" I scanned the attic, desperate for something we could drag over and use to block the entrance. The only thing I saw was an old broom, so I grabbed it. "I'll use this." Closing the door, I laid the broom across two metal arms that were apparently meant for the very purpose of holding a piece of wood or something else that would prevent the door from being opened from the outside.

As I worked to lock us in, Glinda rounded on me. "Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle? I hope you're happy how you just ruined everything you've worked for your entire life. I hope you think you're clever, because at the moment, I sure don't!"

I spun to face her, glaring. "Me? What about you? 'Thank you, your Ozness!'" I mimicked her earlier words, her only response to everything that had gone on in the throne room. "I hope you're proud of how you sold yourself out back there. Is there anything you wouldn't do to get attention?"

Our fight came to a quick end as we heard voices coming from outside. We crept over to a large window and peered out cautiously, and we saw that people were gathering in the courtyard far below. Then Madame Morrible stepped out onto a balcony directly beneath us and began to address the assembled crowd. Her words made my blood run cold. "Citizens of Oz, there is an enemy that must be found and captured. Believe nothing she says – she's evil! Responsible for the mutilation of these poor, innocent monkeys! Her green skin is but an outward manifestation of her twisted nature! This distortion... this repulsion... this... _Wicked Witch_!"

So that was the Wizard's game. If I didn't come back with Glinda and agree to help him, he and Madame Morrible would turn all of Oz against me. I felt suddenly weak as I realized the magnitude of the choice I was being forced to make. I either had to go back and work for the people who had betrayed me, or run and live like a fugitive from now on. Neither option sounded very agreeable.

Glinda must have noticed my distress, because she took my hand and squeezed it tight. "Don't be afraid," she whispered, though she sounded like she was having a hard time taking her own advice.

"I'm not," I told her. (It wasn't completely untrue… only mostly.) Then my voice hardened as I glared down at the figure on the balcony below us. "It's the Wizard who should be afraid... of me!"

Glinda shook her head. "Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry, before it's too late! If you go back now and apologize, I'm sure the Wizard will take you back. You can still have all you've ever wanted."

"I know. But I don't want it… no… I can't want it anymore." I took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to explain it to her. "Glinda, something about me is different now. Something's changed. Now that I know what the Wizard truly is…I can't go back. I won't settle anymore for living by someone else's rules. From now on, I'm running my own life."

"Think about what you're saying, Elphie! Please, you've got to reconsider…"

"No, Glinda. I can't afford to second-guess myself now. I have to trust what my heart is telling me. I'm getting out of here." I paused and then, for emphasis, added, "And you can't stop me."

"But Elphie, what if your heart is wrong?"

"Well…I'm just going to have to take that chance. I'm sick of limiting myself to what other people say I can or can't do. How do I know if I'm capable of something unless I try? I've spent my whole life longing for people's approval. But no more. If getting what I've always wanted comes at the cost of everything I believe… well, that's a price that I'm just not willing to pay."

Then someone started banging on the door. The guards had found us. "Open this door, in the name of his supreme Ozness!"

We were trapped!… or were we? In less than a clock-tick, I thought of the one thing I could try. I knelt down, pulled out the Grimmerie, and opened it to the page I had read from earlier. "Aven Tatey Ah May Ah Tay Ah Tum Ditum..." I'm not sure what I expected to happen – maybe I thought we'd sprout wings just like the monkeys had; it would've served me right for what I had done to them – but it was our only chance.

"What are you doing?!" Glinda howled incredulously as I continued chanting. "Stop it! That's what started all this in the first place – that hideous levitation spell! _STOP!_" At her cry, I broke off the spell. We stared at each other in silence for a minute, until it became apparent that neither of us were going to sprout new appendages from our backs. "Well, where are your wings?" she asked sarcastically, almost desperately. "Maybe you're not as powerful as you think you are..."

It was at that moment that the broomstick that had been barricading the door suddenly rose into the air, righted itself, and began to float across the room towards me, hovering a foot or so above the floor. No, the spell hadn't given us wings – it had done even better!

Glinda's tirade died mid-sentence, and her jaw dropped as the broom drifted past her and into my outstretched hand as though drawn by a magnet. "Sweet Oz!" she gasped, scrambling to get out of its way.

"I told you, Glinda!" I cried triumphantly. "Oh, didn't I tell you?" Then the pounding on the door increased. Without the broom there to hold it shut, we had very little time to make our escape. "Quick! Get on!" I ordered her, holding out the enchanted broom.

She stared at me like I had lost my mind (and, truth be told, I'm not entirely sure that I hadn't). "What?!"

"Glinda… come with me. Think of what we could do... together! There'd be no limit to the things we could accomplish. We'll be the greatest team Oz has ever known! We can make our dreams come true on our own terms."

"Do you really think so?" Glinda asked in a tone of wonderment. She came towards me slowly, drawn in by the possibilities of the future I was describing, until she was close enough to grasp the handle of the broom along with me. "Could we really do all that?"

"And more," I grinned. "There's not a person in Oz who'll be able to stop us if we work together." I hurried over to grab the Grimmerie from the floor where I had knelt as I cast the levitation spell on the broom and slid the ancient book back into my satchel. Then I looked back at Glinda. "Well, are you coming?"

For a moment or two, I actually thought she was going to say yes. But then I saw her answer in her eyes. I couldn't blame her for it. She stood to lose far more than I did. She had all the friends, all the possessions, all the popularity a girl could ever want, and every reason to expect a bright future, probably with Fiyero. How could I expect her to give all of that up for me?

But she couldn't bring herself to come right out and tell me that she wasn't going with me. Instead, she observed weakly, "Elphie, you're trembling..." I was surprised to discover that she was right. Hurrying over to an old shelf that hung in a corner, she grabbed a heap of black cloth off of it and came back over. "Here, put this around you." She draped the material around me and tied it around my neck like a cape, and then put her hands on my shoulders and held me at arm's length. She studied my face, and I could see that she was struggling not to cry. "I hope you're happy with the path you've chosen."

I nodded, fighting back tears myself. "You too, Glinda. I hope you get everything your heart desires." We held each other tightly for a clock-tick or two. Then I whispered, "Goodbye, my friend."

The door began to splinter before the guards' determined blows. "Go, Elphie! They'll be here in a just a clock-tick! Get out of here!" Glinda hissed in my ear. She pushed me away, and I ducked into the shadows. I positioned myself beside the window, ready to leave the palace and the Emerald City behind, just as the guards burst into the room.

"There she is! Don't let her get away!" one of them shouted. For one terrifying instant I thought they had spotted me already. But then, to my surprise, they grabbed a hold of Glinda.

"What in Oz?! Let go of me!" Glinda screeched indignantly. "Do you hear me? Let go!"

I wasn't about to let them arrest Glinda on top of everything else. "It's not her," I said from the shadows. "She has nothing to do with it. I'm the one you want. It's me!" The guards looked around, trying to spot where my voice was coming from, and I gave a throaty laugh that even frightened me a little before stepping into the light streaming in through the window. "It's me! Over here! It's me!"

And then, before the guards could react, I threw one leg over the broom. It instantly sprang to life, the window flew open before me of its own accord, and I barely had time to hope that my lifelong fear of heights wouldn't be a problem before I glided smoothly through the window and away from my would-be captors.

I could hear the guards shouting behind me as I flew out the window, but I was too giddy and exhilarated and terrified and free to pay them any attention. I don't really remember the first few minutes of that flight – I was too busy screaming and hanging on for dear life. But once I got that out of my system, it was actually one of the most incredible experiences I've ever had. It was freezing up there, but I hardly felt it, as high on adrenaline as I was. It never occurred to me that I could fall off the broom at any moment. It didn't even really seem all that important that I had just abandoned everything and everyone I'd ever known. All that mattered was that I had proven to the Wizard and Morrible, and to myself, that I was no one's pawn. I had successfully defied the people who had wanted to use me as a means to their own selfish ends. And now I was defying gravity itself.

I managed to distract myself for the rest of the day by concentrating on flying. The broom seems to respond to my very thoughts, which means I can steer and adjust my speed and height as easily as I can think. And it's really a much more convenient form of travel than walking or taking the train. When you're up that high, everything down below you looks so tiny, you really feel very detached from it all. It wasn't until a little while ago, when I had to land to rest for the night, that the reality of my situation started to hit me. I realized I was shivering, and then I realized how truly alone I was. And now that I'm just sitting here with nothing else to occupy my hands or my mind, I can't force the questions away any longer.

What am I going to do now? I certainly can't go back to Shiz. What about Glinda, Nessa, Fiyero – will I ever see them again? What will they think of me when they hear? Will Nessa feel I've abandoned her? Will Glinda still go back and accept the Wizard's offer? Will she regret not coming with me? Will Fiyero even wonder or care where I've gone? Have I done the right thing? How will I survive on my own, with no one willing to give me the slightest bit of help? And how do I go on when everything I've worked so hard to achieve, everything I've ever dreamed of accomplishing, has been based on a lie?

I guess I didn't lie to Glinda after all when I told her that I wasn't afraid, because I'm not afraid now. I'm terrified out of my wits.

Oh, well. Even if I'm all on my own now, at least I'm not the Wizard's prisoner – either in his dungeon or in his service. If it's a Wicked Witch he wants, it's a Wicked Witch he'll get! I'll make his life such a living hell, he'll rue the day he ever crossed paths with Elphaba Thropp!


	10. A Knight in Shining Armor

**A/N: For some reason, I really like this scene in the show. No idea why. But I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

**I'm leaving for another vacation on Thursday (going to see Wicked! HECK YES!), and won't be back until next Tuesday the 10****th****, so I probably won't put up any more chapters of this until I return.**

**Disclaimer:**

**There once was an authoress named Fae**

**Who sat writing fan fiction all day.**

**But no matter what she dreamed, or how much she schemed,**

**She still didn't own Wicked. But someday…!**

It's been a long time since I've written. Years, in fact. I never would have guessed that being wicked would be so much work! I fly around Oz on my broom, avoiding the Wizard's guards (that's another advantage of flying – no one can capture me!) and doing my best to help Animals who are being pressured to give in to all the new restrictions. Truth be told, I suppose I've been trying to find Doctor Dillamond, but thus far I haven't seen him.

Once I left the Emerald City, the Wizard and Madam Morrible lost no time in demonizing me to the masses. Some of the rumors they've spread are so ridiculous, they're downright laughable. For instance, I apparently have a third eye that never sleeps. (Yes, I know – it was news to me, too.) I'm supposed to be able to shed my skin just like a snake, which can probably be chalked up to my green skin. And here's the best one – I laughed out loud, really laughed, for the first time in weeks when I heard this. They say that my soul is so unclean, I can be melted by pure water! Isn't that the most ludicrous thing you've ever heard? If touching any water would melt me, then how in Oz's name do they think I keep clean? What do they suppose I drink? I mean, honestly, people are so empty-headed, they'll believe anything!

In all the madness, I abandoned this diary for quite a while. I never know from day to day where I'll spend the next night. I never know when I'll have to pack up and leave at a moment's notice. I never know when my work will take me away suddenly for days and sometimes even weeks at a time. But I finally dug it out of my satchel again today because I wanted to record my first meeting with my sister since that ill-fated trip to the Emerald City so long ago.

I had decided that I couldn't go on as I was doing much longer. I needed provisions, a place to stay, and I went to the only people I could think of that might still give them to me. I flew back to the Governor's Mansion in Munchkinland, stashed my broom in a clump of bushes along the side of the house, and then snuck inside through the open first-floor window of Nessa's bedroom. I wanted to talk to her first before I talked to Father – if I could get Nessa on my side, she could convince Father to help me. He could never refuse her anything.

No one was in the room, so I quickly climbed into the gigantic wardrobe Nessa needs to store all her clothes. It was stifling, wedged as I was behind layers upon layers of every fabric imaginable. But I wanted to see before I was seen. I wanted the element of surprise on my side.

I heard the door of Nessa's room open, and then the familiar squeaking of her chair's wheels on the wooden floorboards. Through the crack around the edge of the wardrobe door, I could make out a person dressed all in silver pushing her.

"Will there be anything else, Madame?" the man inquired formally. I was surprised to recognize the voice of Boq, the Munchkin boy Nessa had become so devoted to after he asked her to the dance at Shiz – at Glinda's urging, of course. What was he doing here?

"I've asked you to call me Nessarose, remember?" I could hear the smile in Nessa's voice, the one she puts on when she's trying to charm someone.

But Boq remained polite and distant. "Yes, Madame." I saw him bow deeply, and then heard his receding footsteps going down the hall.

"Boq..." Nessa called after him, but he was already gone.

This was the moment I had been waiting for. I could be alone with my sister. Perhaps I shouldn't have frightened her so. But I've always had a flair for the dramatic, so I spoke from inside the wardrobe. "Well, it seems the beautiful only get more beautiful," I began, causing Nessa to let out a small scream, "while the green just get greener." I pushed open the wardrobe doors and stepped out into the room. "I'm sorry, did I scare you? I seem to have that effect on people." Then I smiled, trying to make up in a small way for the fright I had just given her. "It's good to see you, Nessa."

Nessa, however, did not seem in a mood to forgive me for my theatrics. "What are you doing here?" she demanded coldly.

"Well, there's no place like home," I offered with a shrug. Nessa was unmoved by the witty remark, however, so I sighed deeply and confessed, "I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I need Father's help. I need him to stand with me."

"That's impossible." Nessa shook her head emphatically.

I would not, _could_ not allow myself to believe her. "No. No, it's not. Not if _you_ ask him. He'll do it for you, Nessa, you _know_ he will…"

"Father's dead," she informed me flatly, her face betraying no emotion.

"_What?!_" For a moment, I felt as though I'd been kicked in the stomach. I had never been close to my father, but still, it was a devastating blow. I had thought I was prepared for any argument, any situation… but not this.

"He's dead," Nessa repeated, still in that frighteningly emotionless voice. "I'm the governor now." After pausing a moment to let the news sink in, she asked cruelly, "Well what did you expect? After he learned what you'd done – how you'd disgraced us – he died... of shame. Embarrassed to death."

I couldn't be sure whether or not she was telling the truth. Finally I frowned, and my voice was as cold as hers when I said, "Good. I'm glad. It's better."

"That's a wicked thing to say!" It didn't escape my notice that Nessa placed special emphasis on the word 'wicked,' but I decided to ignore the jab.

"No, it's true," I contradicted. "Because now it's just us. You can help me, and together we can – "

"Elphaba, shut up!" she snapped harshly. I drew back, surprised and hurt. What had happened to the sweet little sister I knew? "First of all, I can't harbor a fugitive. I'm an unelected official." (I had to admit, I saw her point there.) Then her eyes narrowed, and she continued, "And why should I help you? You fly around Oz, trying to rescue animals you've never even met, and not _once_ have you ever thought to use your powers to rescue me!"

"Nessa – "

"No, Elphaba! You listen to me! All of my life, I've depended on you. How do you think that feels? You and this hideous wheelchair! People pity me, because they think that's what I want. But the only thing I really want is a chance to walk, run, dance, live like a normal girl!"

I sighed tiredly. "Nessa, there isn't a spell for everything! The power is mysterious. It's not like just cobbling up a pair of..." Suddenly, an inspiration struck. I pulled the Grimmerie out of my satchel. "Wait…"

"What are you doing?" Nessa demanded as I began to chant a spell. "What does that mean?" Then suddenly her tone changed from annoyed to frightened, and she gave a cry of pain. "Argh! My shoes! It feels like... like they're on fire! _What have you done to my shoes???_"

She lifted her skirts to reveal those wonderful silver shoes that Father gave her on our first day at Shiz. Before our eyes, they turned from silver to a fiery ruby red. Then suddenly, as if drawn by an invisible force, one of her feet was pulled forward, beyond the footrest of her wheelchair, and planted itself firmly on the floor. The other followed. And like magic, my sister was jerked upright, and she stood on her own for the first time in her life. Her knees began to wobble, and she collapsed in a heap. I quickly ran to give her a hand up, but she shook her head and gasped, "No, don't help me!" I stood up and stepped back slightly, and she struggled to her feet on her own.

Tears of joy streamed down both of our faces as I watched her take her first wobbling steps across the room towards me. "Oh, Nessa, at last!" I laughed, wiping my eyes. "I've done what I should have thought to do a long time ago. My powers have finally done something good!"

Nessa had been getting closer and closer, growing more sure of herself with every step she took. She finally reached where I was standing, waiting for her with my arms open wide. But instead of embracing me, my sister brushed past me as though I wasn't even there, as though I had not just granted her her lifelong dream. I watched, trying my very hardest not to feel slighted, as she tottered over to her desk, where she grabbed a small bell and began to ring it violently. "Boq! Boq! Come quickly!" she shouted.

My joy vanished in an instant. "No! Nessa, wait, nobody can know I'm here!" I pleaded. But it was too late. The sound of approaching footsteps was already coming down the corridor towards us. I watched helplessly as Nessa ran to sit back in her chair, stifling a giggle, and turned it so its back was to the room.

I dashed for the cover of the wardrobe, hoping to make it back into hiding before Boq arrived. But it was too late. My fingertips had barely touched the wardrobe door when he entered the room, and I was caught out in the open. "What is it, Madame Governor?" he asked automatically. Then he saw me standing there. His eyes widened, and an expression of such intense hatred came over his face that I instinctively backed away a step or two.

"Boq..." I began, hoping I might be able to talk some sense into him.

"What are you doing here? You stay back!" he glared. Snatching up a small knife from Nessa's desk, which stood by the door, he came towards me slowly.

"Boq, it's just me. I'm not going to hurt you."

"No! You're lying! That's all you ever do! You and your sister! She's as wicked as you are!"

"What are you talking about?" I wondered, now thoroughly confused.

"I'm talking about my life," he clarified bitterly. "The little that's left of it, anyway. I'm not free to leave Munchkinland. None of us are. Ever since she took power, she's been stripping the Munchkins of our rights... and we didn't have that many to begin with! And do you know why?"

Before I could answer, Nessa's chair suddenly turned itself around to reveal my sister sitting in it. "To keep you here with me," she told him. "But none of that matters anymore. Look!" And she pushed herself to her feet and stood there, looking him right in the eye.

"You did this for her?" he asked me incredulously. Some of the fear and anger began to leave his face, and he lowered the knife slightly.

"For both of us," Nessa corrected him.

"Nessa, this changes everything," Boq said softly, closing the distance between himself and my sister to take her hands in his.

"I know," she nodded, the note of excitement in her voice obvious. I could tell what she was thinking. Finally she was whole, finally she would be good enough for him.

But unfortunately, Boq's reaction was exactly the opposite of what she had hoped for. "Listen, Nessa… you don't need me anymore. Surely now you won't mind if I leave here tonight."

Nessa's forehead creased in a slight frown. "Leave?" she echoed uncertainly, as though trying to find a way to interpret the word so it wouldn't have to mean what she was afraid he was saying.

"Yes. You know that announcement we saw in the newspaper about Glinda's engagement ball?"

"Glinda?" repeated Nessa. She could no longer mistake his meaning. I detected the slight change in her tone that meant she was growing angry, and I wanted to warn Boq not to go any farther.

But the poor, stupid boy couldn't read the danger signals. "Yes, Nessa, that's right," he persisted. "I have to go appeal to her, declare my feelings one more time before I lose the chance forever. Oh, Nessa, I lost my heart to Glinda the moment I first saw her. You know that."

Nessa was now dangerously calm. "Lost your heart? Well, we'll see about that..."

This could only end badly. "Nessa, let him go..." I begged her, terrified at what she might do. My sister is not easily provoked, but once it's roused, her temper is even worse than mine. I've seen what she's capable of at such times, and I didn't care to witness it again now.

"Did you think I'd let you leave me here flat?" Nessa was now advancing on Boq menacingly.

Boq finally began to grasp what a dangerous position he'd put himself in. "Don't come any closer!" he warned, brandishing the knife he still held, but his voice was shaking.

"You're going to lose your heart to _me_, I tell you!" Nessa snarled. "I don't care if I have to… I have to…" Her gaze fell to the carpet, where I had left the Grimmerie after enchanting her shoes. A demonic smile crossed her face, and I saw in an instant what she meant to do. I dove for the book, but a split second too late – Nessa got it first. She opened it and began reciting the first spell she saw. "Ah... Tum... Tah... Tae..."

"Nessa, stop! It's dangerous!" I pled desperately.

Boq shot me a terrified look. "What is she doing?!"

"You're pronouncing the words all wrong!"

"I'm warning you, don't try to stop me, or I'll – "Suddenly, Boq let out a bloodcurdling shriek. His eyes were suddenly wild with pain, and he began to clutch at his chest.

"Nessa!" I screamed again, frantically trying to get her attention.

Jarred out of her frenzy, Nessa looked up. An expression of horror came over her face as she realized what she had done. "Boq! What is it?"

"My heart…" he managed to choke out, then gave another awful scream. "It… it feels like it's... shrinking!"

Nessa turned to me, half-crazed with fear. "Elphaba, do something!"

"I can't!" I groaned. "You can't reverse a spell once it's been cast!"

Then Boq began to collapse. I quickly ran for Nessa's now-empty wheelchair, getting it behind him just in time to catch him before he fell to the ground, and wheeled him over to the window as Nessa turned on me.

"Elphaba, do something! This is all your fault!" she shouted. "If you hadn't shown me that horrendible book…"

"Hush, will you?" I snapped. I decided it would be best not to waste time pointing out that she was the one who had started this whole mess by trying to cast a spell on him in the first place. "I have to find another spell... it's the only thing that might work."

Then Nessa's anger seemed to evaporate, and she subsided into gusts of tears. "Do whatever you have to, Elphaba, only save him, please!" she sobbed. "Oh, Boq, please don't leave me! I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! Everything you said was true – I really am the Wicked Witch of the East!"

As she wept, I went over and knelt by the wheelchair where the now-unconscious Boq sprawled. I quickly scanned the pages of the Grimmerie, looking for anything that I could use to help him. Finally I found the one spell that might be able to do something. They were both going to hate me forever for using this spell, but it was the only way I could save his life after what Nessa had done to him. It was decided, then. I had no other choice. I chanted the words as quickly as I could, and watched them take effect. I had done it – he was going to live.

I wheeled Boq back over, but made sure to turn the chair so that my sister couldn't see into it. "He's asleep," I replied to her questioning look.

"Well... what about his heart?" Nessa demanded tremulously.

I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted and very drained. "It's all right. He won't need one now." Slipping the Grimmerie back into my satchel, I continued, "I have to go to the Emerald City. What happened to those monkeys is my fault. I've got to set them free."

"You're not going there to save the monkeys," she snarled. "You're going to find Fiyero!" Her accusation hit me like a slap in the face, and I recoiled in shock. Could it be true? I hardly had time to ponder it before she continued bitterly, "But it's too late." I narrowed my eyes, and without a word I turned towards the window, intending to go the way I had come. Nessa's eyes widened, and she lurched forward and grabbed me desperately by the arm. "Elphaba, please don't leave me!"

With a heavy heart, I shook off her hand and laid one of my own on her shoulder. "Nessa, I've done everything I could for you, but it has never been enough… and nothing ever will be."

"Elphaba… Elphaba, wait! Elphaba!"

But I wouldn't stay another clock-tick. I didn't want to be there when they discovered what I had been forced to do. Without another word, I slipped through the open window, landing lightly on my feet outside. I collected my broom from the shrubs where I had left it, and a moment later I had left the Governor's Mansion behind.

And not a moment too soon, either. As I soared off, I heard my sister shriek, and then Boq's screams joined hers. _I'm sorry,_ I thought, squeezing my eyes shut tight for a brief second against the overwhelming feeling of helplessness. _But it was the only way…_ By turning Boq into a man made of tin, I had counteracted the spell Nessa had used. I had saved his life. And I had probably earned myself the eternal enmity of both Nessa and Boq in the bargain.

But, as they say, it's no use crying over spilled milk. What's done is done. I can't afford to dwell on things I can't change. I have to decide what my next move is going to be. Boq said something about an engagement party being held for Glinda. I wonder who the lucky man is? (I'm only being slightly sarcastic… all right, maybe a little more than slightly…) Probably Fiyero, if Glinda hasn't completely lost her knack for getting whatever she wants.

I meant what I told Nessa about wanting to find some way to free all those poor monkeys that I mutilated with that levitation spell back when I met the Wizard. It's something I've wanted to do ever since I left the Emerald City all those ages ago, but until now, I've never been able to see a good time to do it. They're caged in the Wizard's throne room, and I highly doubted if he'd ever leave long enough for me to get in and let them loose. But it just occurred to me that this big engagement bash for Glinda might be just the opportunity I've been looking for. With everyone's attention focused on the bride-to-be and her oh-so-fortunate fiancé (once again, I say that with only the mildest sarcasm, honest!), they'll all be too distracted to notice little old me crashing their party. If I can get in undetected, I may just have a chance of succeeding.


	11. Looking At Things Another Way

**A/N: TERRIBLY sorry for the long time since my last update. I got on a "Lost and Found" kick, and sort of forgot about this. Forgive me? .:dodges thrown tomatoes:. Umm… right, then…**

**I'm not really pleased with the first half of the chapter. The dialogue has been slightly different in every version of the "Wonderful" scene that I've ever seen, and I couldn't decide which to use. But hopefully it's not too awful. And I'm really, really, REALLY mad that they took the little dance out of the show that Elphaba and the Wizard used to do at the end of "Wonderful." Yes, they took it out, can you believe it? .:fumes:.**

**When I first wrote this story a year ago, the second half of this chapter was my first ever attempt at a real Fiyeraba scene. I still really like the way it turned out, so I kept it pretty much intact from the original version. Hope it makes all you shameless Fiyeraba addicts out there all warm and fuzzy inside. :D**

**Oh, and I fixed a few things in chapter 10, so you can go back and read the corrected version if you care to.**

**Disclaimer: I haven't yet convinced Elphiemuse to magick Greg, Steve, and Winnie into turning over the rights to me, so I still don't own it. But one of these days…**

Well, that didn't go quite like I expected. And before you say 'I told you so', this time, that's actually a good thing. And you won't believe how it ended!

I flew into the throne room of the palace through an open window high in one wall. As I landed and looked around, I saw that, just as I had hoped, the place was deserted. Leaning my broom against the giant head the Wizard still uses to impress visitors, I began scouring the room for a lever or something else that would release the door of the monkeys' cage.

Suddenly the head came to life behind me. Startled, I turned to find that my broom was now nowhere in sight. "I knew you'd be back," boomed the head in its usual deep, terrifying roar. Then the Wizard's own voice floated to my ears. "Hear me out. I never meant to harm you."

I frowned at the head, even though I knew he couldn't see me from behind it. "Well you have. You have harmed me," I told him bitterly.

He finally came out from behind the head and spoke to me face to face. "I realize that, and I regret it. Elphaba..."

"There you are!" I pointed at the huge cage that took up the entire back wall. "I'm setting those monkeys free! And if you try to interfere, or call the guards..."

"I'm not calling anyone," he assured me. Then he shrugged. "The truth is, I'm glad to see you again. It gets pretty lonely around here. And I know you must get lonely, too."

I glared daggers at him as I spat, "You don't know the first thing about me."

"Oh, but I do. I _do_ know you," contradicted the Wizard. "I can't explain it exactly. You know what I mean?" He paused, and gave me a look that was almost…compassionate. Almost like a loving father might give his favorite daughter. Like the way Father used to look at Nessa. "Elphaba, you've been so strong through all of this. Aren't you tired of being the strong one? Wouldn't you like someone to take care of you?" He handed me back my pilfered broom. "Please, help me start again."

I was shaken. How had he managed to somehow read my deepest desire? The comment broke down a little of my hostility. "Don't you think I wish I could?" I replied, my voice thick with emotion, as I snatched back my broom. "I would give _anything_ to turn back the clock and go back to the time when I believed you really were wonderful. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Nobody believed in you more than I did."

"Oh, my dear child..." The Wizard walked over and hung his top hat on the end of my broom's handle, then put an arm around my shoulders. "It's not like I asked for this, you know. I was a nobody, your average everyday working man. And then one day I found myself here, and everyone was calling me 'wonderful.' They needed someone to believe in, so I went along with it. I wanted to help them. See, I never had a family of my own since I was always traveling, and I guess I just wanted to give the citizens of Oz everything."

He was playing with my head now, trying to get me to see things his way, seducing my mind, and I knew it. And the frustrating part was, it was working. But then I caught another glimpse of the monkey cage out of the corner of my eye, and I remembered what this seemingly harmless little old man had done to me, and it gave me the strength to resist a bit longer. I took his hat off my broom and shoved it back in his chest. "So you lied to them." I made it a statement of fact rather than a question.

"Only verbally. Besides, they were the lies they wanted to hear. Don't you understand? The truth isn't based on fact or reason. The truth is simply the version of a story that everyone agrees to accept. Elphaba, where I come from, we believe all sorts of things that aren't true. We call it… history." I raised an eyebrow at that, and he gave me a charming smile. "What you believe all depends on whose side you look at. Where I came from, I was just another run-of-the-mill average citizen. But I came here, and suddenly, I was 'wonderful!' And if you're willing to accept my help, you can be the same."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying my hardest not to fall prey to his coaxing. I'm afraid I wasn't doing a very good job.

He knew he almost had me now. "I know I've made things difficult for you. But I'd like to make it up to you now. You'll finally get all the praise, the adoration, the love that you deserve – everything you should've had a long time ago. Elphaba, no one is more beloved than a reformed sinner. Imagine the celebrations there'll be… people throughout all of Oz, all rejoicing because of you! It'll be _you_ they're calling wonderful!"

_People throughout all of Oz, all rejoicing because of you… _exactly what I wrote about in this diary so long ago! He was offering me everything I've ever hoped for in my life. _Just think… no more running, no more hiding, no more of this Wicked Witch of the West nonsense. It'll be just like you've always imagined…_ And suddenly, all at once, every ounce of my willpower seemed to dry up and simply… disappear. I couldn't fight his persuading any longer. I didn't _want_ to fight him any longer. "That does sound wonderful," I admitted rather reluctantly.

"Trust me, it's fun!" the Wizard winked, giving me a broad smile. "Here, let me show you." He went over and switched on a small contraption near the giant head, and after a moment, tinny-sounding music started to play. Coming back over to me, he placed one of my hands on his shoulder, and his hand on that same side went to my waist. Then he bent down and snatched up the hem of my skirt with the other hand before handing the fabric to me and taking my hand in his. And we began to dance around the throne room.

At first I was quite taken aback, but after a few moments, despite myself, I fell into step with him. I began to forget that this man was my mortal enemy, and, Oz help me, I actually began to enjoy our frivolous little dance. He was treating me with an almost fatherly affection, as though I were a long-lost, beloved daughter who had finally come home. _And all this could be yours forever… all you have to do is say the word._

"All right. I'll accept your proposition," I finally agreed breathlessly, helpless to resist any further.

He grinned widely. "Wonderful!"

But I hadn't forgotten myself _that_ completely. I held up a warning finger and added, "On one condition."

"Yes?"

"You set those monkeys free."

We stared at each other for a few clock-ticks, each wondering which of us was going to back down first. At last the Wizard slowly nodded his acquiescence to my demand. "Done," he agreed, and hurried over and pulled a lever on the side of the giant head. Like magic, the massive barred wall retracted into the ceiling, and the monkeys inside scrambled out, free at last.

I could scarcely believe it had been so easy. Laughing joyfully, I shouted, "Go! Fly! You're free! Fly!" I recognized Chistery among the monkeys, and ran over to him. "Chistery, Chistery, you're free, isn't it wonderful?! Go, fly!" Then I noticed another shape huddled in a corner of the cage, covered by a coarse blanket. I thought maybe it was another monkey that was too old or sick to join the rest of its companions, so I made my way over to it, intending to help it make its escape.

Suddenly the Wizard's face changed. His smile disappeared, replaced by an expression of fear. "No! No! Please!" he begged me as I stood poised to pull off the sheet over the creature left behind.

Of course, this only made me all the more curious to see what the Wizard was hiding from me this time. I yanked off the covering… and recoiled in shock. "No! It can't be!" I gasped. "Doctor Dillamond..."

"Elphaba, we just couldn't keep letting him speak out..." the Wizard began apologetically.

"Doctor Dillamond, are you all right?" I knelt down next to my former teacher, alarmed at how weak and feeble he now seemed. But he shied away from me as though he'd never seen me before. "Don't be afraid. It's me, Elphaba," I said gently.

Doctor Dillamond opened his mouth, and… "Bahhhhh."

Alarmed, I helped him get to all fours. "Doctor, don't you remember me?"

"Bahhhhh," he bleated again.

A horrible suspicion filled me. "Doctor… can't you speak?" I asked, afraid I already knew the answer.

Doctor Dillamond answered with another mournful, "Bahhhhh…"

How could I have forgotten that the Wizard was the one responsible for Doctor Dillamond losing his position at Shiz? And now my former teacher had become a victim of the very circumstance he had once warned me about – he had lost his ability to speak. The Goat was now a goat. And it was the Wizard who had done this to him. All thoughts of the rewards he had promised me went clean out of my head. I stood and rounded on that imposter, that fraud, the Not-So-Wonderful Wizard of Oz, with more hatred than I have ever felt before in my life. Not even my once-upon-a-time loathing of Glinda was as simple, as pure, as frighteningly strong as this revulsion I now felt.

"You and I have nothing in common," I spat quietly, contemptuously. My voice increased in volume as I continued, "I am nothing like you, and I never will be… and I will fight you until the day I die!!!"

Like the coward he is, the Wizard ran for the cover of his giant mechanical head. "Guards, guards!!!" he boomed. I was about to get out of there while I still could, but the sudden noise spooked Doctor Dillamond, and he galloped off across the room and out the open door. I stood there, torn between making my escape and going after my former teacher.

Before I could decide which course of action to pursue, a troop of the Wizard's personal guards rushed into the throne room. "Halt!" one of them shouted to the others.

Then another guard, this one wearing the much more heavily decorated uniform of a captain, spoke. "Are you alright, your Ozness?"

It struck me that the captain's voice seemed very familiar. Had I met him somewhere before? Puzzled, I took a closer look at him… and recoiled in shock. _Those blue eyes…_ I would have known them anywhere. "Fiyero!?"

He turned in surprise, and his eyes widened when he saw me. "I don't believe it..." he whispered, almost as though to himself.

"Oh, Fiyero, thank Oz! I thought you were..."

But his features hardened into a frown. "Silence, witch!!!" he ordered me harshly. I reeled back, feeling as stunned and as hurt as if he had physically struck me. I know I've always said how brainless he is, but all these years, for some reason, I had held out hope that he knew me well enough not to believe the Wizard's propaganda. Of everything that's happened to me over all this time, I think those words, coming from him, were the single worst blow I've yet received. Then he turned to his men. "Fetch me some..." He cast an odd look at me, then finished, "… some water."

"Water, sir?" wondered one of the guards.

"You heard me," confirmed Fiyero. "As much as you can carry."

"Yes, sir!" The guards marched off to fulfill their captain's request.

"Oh, Fiyero, not you, too..." I began when they were gone, hoping that now, alone, we could sort things out between us.

"I said silence!" Fiyero stepped towards me and raised a hand menacingly. For an awful, gut-wrenching clock-tick or two, I actually thought he was going to hit me. But then, to my great surprise, he turned away from me and stepped purposefully behind the giant head, reemerging a moment later dragging the Wizard behind him. He shoved the older man down roughly to sit on the edge of the platform the head was mounted on, and then trained his gun on him. "Don't make a sound, your Ozness, unless you want all your guests to know the truth about the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!" he threatened. Then his attention returned to me, and his gaze and his tone softened. "Elphaba, I'll find Doctor Dillamond later. Now get out of here."

Now I understood. Fiyero had never really intended to do anything to me – it had merely been a ruse so the other guards wouldn't get suspicious. I let out my breath in a long _whoosh._ "Fiyero, you frightened me," I breathed, not bothering to try to hide the relief in my voice. "I thought…I thought you might have changed."

"I have... changed."

Before I could ask what exactly he meant by that, Glinda bustled into the throne room. I hadn't seen her since the day we met the Wizard together, and I had to fight down the urge to run and throw my arms around her. "What's going…" she started to ask. Then she caught sight of me, and I was thrilled to see joy come over her face. So she was still my friend! "Elphie? Oh, thank Oz, you're alive!" she exclaimed, running over, and we embraced quickly. Then her face changed to a mask of fear. "Only you shouldn't have come. If anyone discoverates you..." She didn't need to finish. I, too, knew what would happen if I was found here by the wrong people.

"Glinda, you'd better go," Fiyero warned her.

Glinda noticed him there for the first time, and frowned, puzzled, as she took in the fact that the Captain of the Guard was aiming his rifle at the Wizard of Oz. "Fiyero, what are you..."

"Please, just go back to the ball," repeated Fiyero, a little more forcefully. He took a step or two away from her and re-aimed his gun.

But Glinda was not cowed. "Your Ozness, he means no disrespectation!" she said to the Wizard, and though she hid it well, I could hear the note of desperation in her voice. "Please understand, we all went to school together..."

"Elphaba…" Fiyero began, looking at me with an expression that I couldn't read.

"Fiyero, have you misplaced your mind? What are you doing?" Glinda demanded.

He looked from one of us to the other, and then, with a gesture towards me, he calmly replied, "I'm going with her."

"What?!?" Glinda cried incredulously.

"What?!?" I echoed, just as astonished. Where in Oz had this come from?

"What are you saying?" she asked, confused. Then an expression of sudden understanding came over her face, and she looked from me to Fiyero and back again. Her voice was quiet and deeply hurt when she finally continued, "You mean all this time... the two of you... behind my back... ?"

I instantly realized what this had to look like to her. Her fiancé and her best friend were both betraying her… for each other. I cursed silently and protested, "No, Glinda, it wasn't like that!" But I knew it wouldn't sound very convincing to her. I took a step forward, horrified that she should believe either me or Fiyero capable of such a thing.

"Actually, it was..." Fiyero began. Then, at the look I shot him, he quickly added, "But it wasn't." Then he turned to me. "Elphaba, let's go... let's go!" With that, he took me by the hand and began to lead me rapidly towards the door. I cast a helpless look back over my shoulder at Glinda.

"Fine! Go! You deserve each other!" she shouted after us. Everything in me screamed not to leave with her hating me, but I had no choice. The guards that Fiyero had dispatched on that pointless errand would be back any second. We had to go now.

Out in the hall, Fiyero looked this way and that, evidently trying to decide which route would be the safest. "The attic," I told him, my head still spinning from how quickly everything had happened.

"What?"

"We've got to get to the attic. There's a window there." I held up my broom. "That's how I escaped last time I was here."

Fiyero nodded. "The attic it is, then."

We made for the stairs at the end of the corridor, reaching them without being caught, and began to climb. As we rose, I had a moment of déjà vu, a brief flashback to the first time I had rushed up these stairs, fearful of guards on my heels, with only one other person by my side. Only that time, it was Glinda with me, and in the end she had chosen to stay behind.

We soon reached the attic door. Just as it had been for Glinda and me, Fiyero and I once again found it unlocked. This time I didn't bother with barricading the door. I simply turned to Fiyero and said, "I have to ask you before we go… are you absolutely sure you want to do this? If you come with me, there's no going back. You'll become wicked by association. You'll be hated and shunned by people who used to love you. I won't be angry or upset if you decide to stay."

He shook his head. "Elphaba, I said I was coming with you, and I meant it. I can't stand it here another minute – everything's so shallow, so superficial. It's all for show. And I don't want to live like that anymore."

I raised an eyebrow. "You _have_ changed," I observed, surprised to hear words like that come out of his mouth. After all, that was exactly how I once would've described _him_. Then I grinned. "Well, then, you're welcome with me. Nothing shallow, superficial, or showy. I promise."

"All right, then," he smiled back. "Let's get out of here."

I showed him how to sit on the broom, and he got on behind me. "Hang on to me," I warned him. "It's a little scary the first time, and I don't want you falling off." He obediently looped his arms around my waist. I kicked off, and we soared through the open window and out into the clear blue sky.

Now that we were out of immediate danger and I was in my element, I was able to relax enough to let myself think about what had just happened. _Fiyero had chosen me over Glinda!_ The thought was nearly too incredible to comprehend. Never even in my wildest dreams had I believed that something like this could ever happen. And yet, the proof was there – his arms warm and reassuring around me, the weight of his chin resting on my shoulder as he surveyed the landscape below us, the feel of his blue eyes studying me intently as we flew. I had to concentrate very hard on flying to keep my mind from wandering into forbidden territory.

As night fell, we landed and made camp near a small stream in the Great Gillikin Forest. Fiyero gathered some wood, and I used the Grimmerie to conjure up a cheerful fire. We caught a couple of fish from the stream and set them to roasting for dinner. Then we sat on a fallen log by the fire and talked as we waited for the fish to cook.

"So… Captain of the Guard," I smirked, eyeing his uniform. "There just might be a brain somewhere in that head of yours after all, Fiyero."

He ginned. "Did you ever doubt it?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"No." Then he grew serious. "I did a lot of thinking after you left."

"You must've had poor Glinda worried sick," I quipped.

"Yeah, she was pretty upset," agreed Fiyero, laughing a little at the joke. "I guess she saw that the life I was living just wasn't enough for me anymore. She did everything she could to try and make me happy. That's how I became Captain of the Guard – she persuaded the Wizard to choose me."

"So then, it's you and your pals who've given me such hell," I realized, but I smiled to soften the words. "You almost had me more than once, you know."

"I know, Elphaba."

"You know, I think you're the first person in a long time who's called me by my name," I observed. "Even before I left, actually. To Nessa I'm usually just Sister. And Glinda calls me Elphie." Then my heart sank as I remembered the expression of betrayal and hatred on her face when we parted this afternoon, and I wondered if she would ever call me Elphie again. "Or at least, she did."

A shadow seemed to cross Fiyero's face. "Elphaba, the last thing I ever meant to do was cause trouble between you and Glinda. The two of you have been friends forever – well, for as long as I've known you, anyway."

"Oh, Fiyero, there's a lot about Glinda and me that you don't know," I chuckled softly. "She obviously never told you that, until the day you showed up at Shiz, she and I were mortal enemies."

"No kidding?"

"I swear. She was the biggest royal pain I'd ever met. I couldn't stand her! And the feeling was definitely mutual. She once called me… oh, what was the word?… ah, yes… the most 'disgusticified' creature she'd ever laid eyes on." I reached for my hat, which I had set on the ground with my satchel. "She gave me this hat as a joke, though I didn't realize it at the time. She tricked me into wearing it to the dance that night."

"I remember that. I couldn't figure out why she suddenly seemed so upset. Especially because Madame Morrible had just given her a training wand and told her that she was allowed to join the sorcery seminar," Fiyero recalled.

"That was my doing. Glinda had gotten Boq – do you remember him?"

"Of course."

"Well, Glinda had gotten Boq to ask my sister Nessarose to the dance. Nessa was so thrilled, she insisted that I find some way to repay Glinda. And the sorcery seminar was the only thing I could think of to give her that she didn't already have."

"But why would you do that, if you hated her so much? You were the only one in the seminar at first, weren't you? How could you share that with someone you despised?"

I shrugged. "I've often asked myself the same thing. But I did it. And then when Madame told her what I'd done, and then I came into the party wearing that hat she'd given me, she felt so bad that she started dancing with me. And after that, we were best friends. She let me keep the hat, and I've worn it ever since."

We were silent for a few minutes. Then Fiyero asked, "Does Nessa know you're back? She missed you so badly – she cried nonstop for days after Glinda came back from the Emerald City without you."

"I know she did. It nearly killed me sometimes to imagine what she must've thought of me. But then I'd tell myself it was good for her to be away from me – she needed to learn to be more independent. And yes, she knows I'm back. I stopped by for a visit with her before I came to the Emerald City." I winced at the memory of our last encounter.

"She must've been so glad to see you."

"Not exactly…" I sighed deeply. "My father's dead. Did you know that, Fiyero? And Nessa's the Governor of Munchkinland now. She's the bitterest old thing I think I've ever met. She's never forgiven me for abandoning her like I did, and now I doubt she ever will."

"What happened?" Fiyero wondered.

I related the entire miserable episode – Nessa's anger at me, my putting a spell on her shoes, Boq coming in and then asking if he could leave, Nessa's botched spell, and what I was forced to do to control the damage she had wrought. "So now they both hate me," I finished woefully.

"So she didn't even bother to ask you where you'd been, or what you'd been doing while you were away?"

"She could have cared less."

"Well, then, _I'll_ ask you. What've you been up to since you left, Elphaba?"

I smiled at Fiyero's effort to cheer me up. "I've been tooling around Oz on my broom, evading the likes of you and those brutes you call guards," I teased. "And in my spare time, I've been helping some of the Animals that have gone into hiding to escape the Wizard's laws. Just generally doing all I can to make wizarding harder for him."

"Why are you so bent on making him suffer?"

"Well, look at everything he's done to me! That alone would be reason enough. And besides, the old fool needs someone to stand up to him, knock him on his rear every once in a while. He's too sure of his own power."

"Careful, Elphaba. That smacks awfully strongly of bitterness. Remember what you said about Nessa."

"Well, I have every right to be bitter!" I argued, crossing my arms obstinately. "And I never said that Nessa didn't." Then I heaved a heavy sigh. "Oh, you're probably right."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't be angry about what the Wizard has done. But there have to be more constructive ways of changing things."

"What exactly do you suggest, Fiyero? I tried to change things peacefully once, and look where it's gotten me! The Wizard doesn't listen to 'peacefully.' It's like that old saying: if you want something done right…"

"…You have to do it yourself," Fiyero finished for me. "I see your point. But still. You're a smart girl, Elphaba – can't you figure out some way to work _with_ the Wizard, instead of _against_ him? Do the two of you always have to be at cross purposes?"

I shot him my patented Wicked Witch of the West death glare, perfected over years of terrorizing villagers stupid enough to believe the rumors about me (which is pretty near all of them, I think). "Think about what His Supreme Ozness did to Doctor Dillamond. The same thing is happening to Animals all over Oz. There are Animals everywhere turning back into animals – losing the ability to think, speak, feel. And it's because of the restrictions the Wizard has placed on them. Think about that, Fiyero, and then _you_ tell _me_ whether the Wizard and I could ever work together."

"You've turned awfully cynical, Elphaba."

"Life on the run will do that to a girl." Narrowing my eyes, I threatened, "If that's the only reason you came – to try and get me to come back…" I held out my hand, and my broom obediently leaped into it. "If that's what this is all about, I'm leaving right now, and you can find your own way back to the Emerald City."

"All right, all right." Fiyero held up his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to see you become as bitter as you say Nessa is. I just thought maybe if you could find another way to do what you have to do – an easier way – then you could spare yourself that."

"Fiyero, don't you think I've looked for an easier way? I would've chosen anything over this. But I wasn't given a choice. I had to make the best of the hand I was dealt."

"I know. And it was a pretty lousy hand that you got stuck with. But I think you've done as well as you could, given the circumstances. You've held yourself together all this time, and not only that, but you're fighting back, too. Most people I know wouldn't have lasted half as long as you have."

My anger dissolved as quickly as it had come. Somehow, this meant quite a lot to me, coming from him. And besides, I didn't want to alienate the one person I had left who was still speaking to me. "Thanks," I said softly.

By this time, our dinner was finished cooking. After taking the fish off the fire to cool for a few minutes, we tucked in.

"You know," said Fiyero as we ate, "now I'm _especially_ glad that I came with you, Elphaba."

"Why's that?"

"Because if I had stayed behind, I'd be sitting at that silly engagement ball, choking down caviar and pate de fois gras and all sorts of other disgusting things." He made a face and shook his head.

"Speaking of that silly engagement ball… I never got an invitation, so am I correct in assuming that it was for you and Glinda?" I asked, even though I was fairly certain I already knew the answer.

Just as I had expected, Fiyero nodded. "I'm not quite sure how it all came about. I never actually asked her to marry me. She just sort of… assumed."

I had to laugh at that. "That's Glinda for you. She operates under the assumption that she's going to get whatever she wants. And in this case, I can tell you with complete certainty that she's been 'assuming' your wedding day since the moment the two of you met."

"Is that so?" asked Fiyero with amusement.

"Yes. She informed me the night of that dance at Shiz that she was going to marry you." I paused as a new thought put itself forward. "Fiyero… not that it's any business of mine… but… do you love her?"

I could see at once that I had struck a nerve. "You always did know how to get right to the difficult questions," he said, sounding very uncomfortable. After hesitating for several clock-ticks, he shook his head slowly. "Glinda's a sweet girl and all. But lately I've been noticing that we're not really as similar as I used to think. All she seems to care about are parties and clothes – she's become obsessed with appearances."

"She's always been obsessed with appearances, Fiyero."

"Well, maybe now I'm just starting to see it for what it is. But she devotes all her time and energy to her 'public image,' as she likes to call it, and doesn't care at all about what's going on in Oz or what she can do about it." He looked away, and if I didn't know better, I'd have sworn he was blushing. "I know I used to be the same way. But like I said earlier, I've changed. I'm not like that anymore, and I can't spend the rest of my life pretending that I am."

I nodded my understanding, slightly embarrassed at having asked him to share something that personal. I wasn't used to Fiyero being so honest, so… real. But whatever had come over him since I saw him last, I decided that I liked it. "If you don't mind my asking, what was it that brought about this change?" I wondered.

He looked at me then, and the expression in his eyes made my face flush. "It was you," he told me quietly.

"Me?" I echoed, astonished. Had I heard him correctly?

"Yes, you," he confirmed. "Elphaba… you're truer to yourself than anyone else I've ever met. You know who you are, you know what you want out of life, you know what you believe, and you don't let anyone sway you from it. You stick to your principles no matter what it costs you. And I admire that."

"You do?" I have very little experience in this sort of conversation, so I'm afraid I was sounding quite the fool. In fact – Oz forbid! – I was starting to remind myself of Glinda! I can come up with as witty a comeback as you please in an argument, but stick me in a conversation with a handsome man, where he's actually saying something nice to me, and my brain suddenly decides to turn traitor and shut down on me! It's not fair, I tell you!

Fiyero nodded. "I realized after you left that that's what makes you so different from everyone else." Then he smirked as he added, "Well, besides the obvious."

Normally I hate people making comments about my green skin, but for some reason, when Fiyero did it, it didn't bother me. "Of course," I agreed, my smile matching his.

I was surprised when he leaned closer and said earnestly, "I was so worried when you disappeared, Elphaba. I hated to think of you out there somewhere all alone, no one to turn to for help…"

Touched by his concern, I gently took his hand, lacing my fingers through his. "I've missed all of you something awful," I confessed. "And there were times I've been scared as anything. It's been so hard, Fiyero… so hard… you just have no idea…" And then all the memories of everything I've been through – all the pain, the sorrow, the loneliness, the fear – flooded my mind, and suddenly my cheeks were wet, and I realized I was crying. I stood and moved away from him, head down, arms crossed, shoulders hunched forward. "Oh, damn these tears!" I cursed, sniffling. "I hate to cry…"

I heard motion behind me, and then Fiyero was there next to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me to him. "Elphaba, where did you get this idea that you always have to be this strong, invincible, emotionless thing? I'm here now. Let me be the strong one for a while."

Well, that was all it took. I could've borne everything until the end of time as long as no one cared about me. But as soon as someone offered me a bit of sympathy, I was an emotional catastrophe. I buried my face in Fiyero's shoulder and let myself cry for the first time since the day I became the Wicked Witch of the West. I wept for everything I've lost, everything I've suffered, and he held me close, stroking my hair softly, until my sobs finally quieted.

And suddenly there we were, Fiyero with his arms around me, and me clinging to him as though my very life depended on it. He made no move to relax his embrace, and I didn't try to pull away. He reached out and wiped away one last tear that was coursing its way down my face, letting his hand linger on my cheek.

I had never realized before what a powerful thing touch can be, especially to someone who doesn't experience it that often. Until now, the only people who had ever willingly touched me (and did so without having to hide their disgust) were Glinda and sometimes Nessa. And even they never touched me as tenderly, as… as lovingly as Fiyero was doing now. I don't think anyone ever had. I closed my eyes, wanting to savor every moment, every sensation.

He traced his fingertips softly along the curve of my jaw, then lightly brushed his thumb along the bottom edge of my lip. I drank in the feeling of leaning into him, his arms holding me close, my body fitting so perfectly against him that it almost seemed we were made for each other. Then he caught me gently by the chin and tilted my face up towards his. A bit startled, I opened my eyes. The expression on his face made me chill and blush at the same time, made me want to run and want to stay, made me dizzy and terrified and thrilled. "Fiyero…" I whispered. I had no idea what I was going to say next, but it turned out that it didn't matter, because that was all I got out before our mouths met.

Part of me was shouting, _What in Oz's name are you doing? That's Glinda's fiancé you're kissing, you fool! She'll kill you!_ But the rest of me (the much larger part) returned, _Oh, shove off! He doesn't love her, he said so himself. I don't care what Glinda would think. He's not her fiancé. He doesn't love her. He never did. He loves __me__. Sweet Oz, he __loves me! _ I wanted to shout it to anyone and everyone within hearing distance. My better judgment warned me that I was only deluding myself again, that this was far too good to be true, that it could never last. But then I thought, I've been listening to my better judgment all my life, and look what it's done for me. So I decided that my better judgment could go stick its head in a chamber pot, and I wrapped my arms around Fiyero's neck and kissed him like I've been dreaming about doing for years.

Now, I don't want to sound hopelessly in love, or pathetically cliché like those trashy romance novels that Glinda used to be fond of reading. But that kiss was… oh, there aren't even words to describe it! It was the most wonderful, incredible, satisfying thing I've ever experienced. I don't think I've ever done anything that felt so good, so… _right_. It was sweet and slow, filled with all the feelings that had been growing between us since the day we rescued that Lion cub. And it was the strangest thing… all of a sudden, it was as though the last few years had melted away. None of it seemed to matter anymore. All the pain, all the grief, all the wrongs I had suffered suddenly became worth the misery they had caused me, because they had brought me here to this moment.

When we finally eased apart, I was breathless, and my knees threatened to collapse out from under me at any moment. The thought of being separated at all from Fiyero, even for a single clock-tick, was too painful to bear, so I laid my head on his shoulder, and he kept his arms around me. We stayed like that for a while, neither of us speaking. It was enough for both of us just to know that the other was there, only a heartbeat away. Then an amusing thought occurred to me, and I laughed softly.

"What is it?" Fiyero asked.

I grinned as I answered, "It's just… for the first time, I feel… _wicked_."

Now, as I sit by the fire writing this, it's gotten late. Fiyero has long since stretched out on the thick carpet of fallen leaves, and every so often he props himself up on his elbows and asks me if I plan on getting any sleep at all tonight. I laugh and tell him that I've gotten used to sleeping only three or four hours a night, and he'd better do the same if he plans to stay with me. At this he rolls his eyes, shakes his head, and lays back down, leaving me to write in peace for a little while longer.

I can honestly say that right now I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life. I remember everything that's happened, the impossibly long list of people who hate and/or fear me… and all I can think is, I'm the luckiest girl in Oz. I have no idea how long my good fortune will last. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't look too far into the future. You have to focus on the here and now. But just for this moment, even if it's only for tonight, I have everything I could possibly want.


	12. The Wages of Sin

**A/N: Wow… this chapter is freaking **_**intense**_**. Angst to the max. I can't believe I even wrote this. It's like a completely different person just took over my brain for a little while or something. .: glares suspiciously at Elphiemuse :.**

**I know the last four or five paragraphs are completely all over the place and seem like they're jumping from topic to topic with no discernable connection between them. But I wanted to show how totally scattered and disjointed Elphaba's mind is at this point. So yeah.**

**Yes, I did include several lines that are quoted directly from "No Good Deed." But I just absolutely ADORE the song, and it's full of all the emotions I wanted to express in the chapter, so I figured you all would forgive me for it. Hopefully I figured right… .: shifty eyes :.**

**Disclaimer: Don't wish, don't start… wishing only wounds the heart.**

My world has been shaken to its very core. My mind is in utter chaos. My sister Nessa is dead. I have no idea where Fiyero is, but he's badly hurt at the very least, and like as not he has already joined Nessa. And all I can say is… oh, Oz, it's all my fault!

As I put away my diary after my last entry, Fiyero got up and came over to sit next to me again. He put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned my head against him. We sat like that for what seemed a long time, staring into the dying fire, both lost in our own separate thoughts.

Finally I sighed deeply. "I just wish..." I began, then stopped, a little embarrassed.

"What?" prompted Fiyero.

I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to share what was on my mind. But this was Fiyero I was talking to. I knew I could tell him anything. "I wish I could be beautiful... for you."

"Elphaba..." Fiyero reached out and softly tucked a wayward lock of hair behind my ear.

I shook my head. "No, don't tell me that I am," I insisted gently. "You don't have to lie to me."

"It's not lying!" he protested. Then he smiled. "It's... looking at things another way." He paused long enough to take my hand before continuing, "Someday, you and Glinda will make up and we'll all..."

Suddenly a strange noise caught my attention. I put a finger to my lips. "Shh! Listen... do you hear that?" As if on cue, an awful shriek floated to our ears, seeming to come from a long way off. "It sounds like somebody's in pain…"

"It's just the wind," Fiyero contradicted, but he sounded uncertain.

Then we heard another scream, and I had a terrifying premonition. "My sister's in danger!" I told him anxiously.

He frowned. "What? How do you know?"

"I don't know, I just do..." I looked up at the sky, as though I could somehow find an explanation for my sudden feeling of dread written among the stars. And that's when I saw it… a sight so shocking that I couldn't hold in a gasp of surprise. "Look!"

"Elphaba, what's wrong? What is it?" demanded Fiyero.

"There!" I pointed frantically upwards. "Don't you see it?"

"What do you mean? What do you see?"

"It doesn't make any sense! It's a house, but it's... it's flying through the sky!" I quickly got up and slung my satchel over my shoulder before jamming my hat onto my head and grabbing up my broom. "I have to go to Nessa!"

"I'll come with you!" he offered as he stood.

I shook my head in refusal. "No, you mustn't, it's too dangerous!" I protested.

Fiyero took me by the shoulders and turned me to face him. "Elphaba, listen to me. My family has a castle in Kiamo Ko. No one is ever there except for the sentries who watch over it. We've never lived there."

"Where do you live?" I wondered, puzzled.

"The other castle."

"Oh. Of course."

"Kiamo Ko is the perfect hiding place," he continued. "Tunnels, secret passageways. You'll be safe there."

I suddenly couldn't shake the awful, sneaking suspicion that if we split up, we would be parted forever. And that was a thought that I just couldn't bear. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I asked, "We will see each other again, won't we?"

In response, Fiyero smiled and reached out to rest his hand briefly on my cheek. "Elphaba, we're going to be together always. You can see houses flying through the sky, can't you see that?"

We held each other for a moment or two, and shared one final kiss. Then, after Fiyero had told me how to get to Kiamo Ko and promised to meet me there, I threw a leg over my broom and rocketed off into the night.

I flew like the wind, faster than I think I've ever flown before. My eyes have adapted to the dark with all the night flying I've done over the past five years, and I scanned the ground below for any sign of the farmhouse I had seen hurtling through the air. Somehow, I sensed that Nessa would be wherever it was. Finally, just as dawn broke over the horizon, I spotted it lying on the edge of a cornfield near the Yellow Brick Road.

As I descended, I was startled and disgusted to make out a pair of legs sticking out from beneath the fallen building. But when I landed and got closer, I got an even bigger shock. I was horrified to recognize the black-and-white-striped stockings as the ones I had given Nessa as a gift for her birthday one year. She wore them all the time. And, although she had on the stockings, her feet were shoeless. Where were her beautiful shoes? The shoes Father gave her, the shoes I had enchanted so she could walk? She would never have given them up!

Then I heard familiar tones coming from the other side of the crashed house. I snuck around the corner and crept along that side of the building until I could peek around the next corner and see the front of the house. Sure enough, there was Glinda, waving goodbye to a figure some little way down the Yellow Brick Road. I could barely make out that it was a young girl, dressed in a blue and white checked pinafore. Her dark hair was pulled back into two tidy braids, and… was that a little dog that trotted next to her? And just before she disappeared into the forest that surrounded the road in that direction, I caught a sparkle of red on her feet.

_The little brat had stolen my sister's shoes!!! _

I could barely contain my outrage. I had been glad to see Glinda, even though I was sure she was still furious at me over the whole Fiyero incident. But now, as I stood watching her, my old hatred of her resurfaced, and I felt a sudden revulsion for the empty, mindless creature she had become – or had always been.

"That's right, you just take that one road the whole time," Glinda called cheerfully after the girl with one last wave of her hand. When they were out of sight, a slight frown creased her forehead. "Oh, I hope they don't get lost," she murmured to herself, shielding her eyes with one hand as she watched the girl and the dog fade out of sight. "I am _so_ bad at giving directions." Then she looked back at the wrecked house, and for the first time seemed to realize that there really _was_ a woman squashed flat as a pancake underneath it. "Oh, Nessa…" she sighed sadly. Spotting a little clump of wildflowers that had escaped the house's impact, she went over and picked them. She came back and knelt in front of the house, strewing the blossoms in front of Nessa's dead, shoeless feet.

This was too much! How could Glinda let that girl steal Nessa's shoes, and then pretend to mourn her? I rounded the corner of the house and glared down at her. "What a touching display of grief," I observed, my voice dripping with such obvious sarcasm that even Glinda couldn't fail to catch it.

She jumped at the sound of my voice, and stared up at me for a clock-tick or two. Then her eyes narrowed. "I don't think we have anything further to say to one another," she informed me haughtily.

But I would not be silenced so easily. I was furious, and I refused to be stopped until I had had my say. "I wanted something to remember her by. And all that was left of her were those shoes. And now that wretched little _farm girl_ has walked off with them!" I broke off for a moment or two to get my temper under control, and then finished bitterly, "So I would appreciate some time _alone_ to say goodbye to my _sister_."

Glinda apparently decided that this was a liberty she could allow me to take, for she got to her feet and backed away, giving me enough space to create some semblance of privacy. I went hesitantly towards the house and laid my hand against the worn wooden boards of the walls, sinking to my knees in the very spot Glinda had just vacated.

Suddenly my anger was overwhelmed by a grief too deep for words. It was my sister lying dead under that house, my sweet little Nessa who I had taken care of since the day she was born. I had been almost her servant at times, fetching her everything she asked for. I had resented the love and attention Father lavished on her while ignoring me. But in spite of it all, even when she was being an absolute brat like she could sometimes, I loved her. I thought of the shoes I had enchanted to give her the one thing she'd always wanted – a life without a wheelchair. That attempt to do good had gone terribly wrong, and in some inexplicable way I felt that her death was somehow my fault too. "Nessa… oh, Nessa… please… please, please forgive me..." I whispered brokenly, fighting to hold back my sobs.

Suddenly I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Glinda kneeling there, her eyes welling with tears. "Elphie, you mustn't blame yourself," she admonished quietly. "It's dreadful, it is, to have a house fall on you, but… accidents will happen…"

My anger roared back to life with a vengeance, and I shook off her hand and turned to face her, eyes blazing. "You call this an _accident_?"

Surprised, she backed off slightly. "Yes!" she insisted. Then, at the withering look I shot her, she glanced back at the house and quickly amended, "Well, maybe not an _accident_..."

"Well, then, what _would_ you call it?"

"Well... a regime change." She stood up and moved a few steps away from me before adding, "Caused by a bizarre and unexpected twister of fate."

"Oh, so you think cyclones just appear, out of the blue?" I demanded sarcastically, following her.

She looked taken aback, as though she hadn't given the topic much thought before. "I don't know, I never really – "

"No, of course you never!" I interrupted her, infuriated by her naiveté. "You're too busy telling everyone how _wonderful_ everything is!"

"I'm a public figure now! People expect me – "

"To lie?"

"_To be encouraging!_" she countered, sounding as though she was now beginning to grow angry herself. Then she looked me up and down and smiled, not nicely. "And what exactly have you been doing, besides riding around on _that_ filthy old thing?" she asked mockingly with a gesture towards my broom.

I raised an eyebrow and returned her smile with one just as snide. "Well, we can't all come and go by _bubble_," I retorted evenly, referring to the contraption she uses to make an entrance at her public appearances, and felt a glow of pleasure at the offended expression that crossed her face. "Whose invention was that, the Wizard's? Of course, even if it wasn't, I'm sure he'd still take credit for it."

"Yes, well, a lot of us are taking things that _don't belong to us_, aren't we?" she said pointedly, glowering at me. Her tone of voice made it clear that it was not really a question.

It was impossible to miss the thinly-veiled implication behind her words. So she wanted to get into an argument over Fiyero, did she? Well, that was fine by me! I took a step towards her, using my extra height to its full advantage. "Now wait just a clock-tick!" I spat. "I know it must be difficult for that blissful blonde brain of yours to comprehend that someone like him could actually _choose_ someone like me! But it's happened. It's _real_. And you can wave that ridiculous wand all you want, _you can't change it!_" I couldn't disguise the triumph in my voice as I finished, "He never belonged to you. He doesn't love you, and he never did. _He loves __me_"

Glinda's eyes grew huge, and her jaw dropped. Almost before either of us realized what she was doing, her hand flashed out and caught me a stinging blow across the face. My hand flew to my injured cheek, and for a clock-tick or two I was completely still.

I could see on Glinda's face that she already regretted what she had done. She was desperately trying to read what my reaction would be. But what I did surprised even me. Suddenly the whole situation seemed so ludicrous that I was helpless to do anything except throw back my head and laugh. I hadn't laughed like that in Oz only knows how long, and it was rather disconcerting how difficult it was to keep it from sliding into full-blown hysteria.

Finally I managed to get control of myself long enough to ask, "Feel better?"

For a moment, Glinda looked like she thought I might have gone insane. "Yes, I do," she replied coldly, apparently not seeing what I found so funny about the situation.

"Good," I grinned. And faster than lightning, I returned her slap in kind. "So do I!"

She gave a cry of outrage and shot me a look of hatred such as I haven't gotten from her since our earliest days as roommates at Shiz. Brandishing the long, staff-like wand she now uses (not for a single clock-tick do I believe that she can actually _do_ anything with it), she twirled it skillfully in front of her like some sort of martial arts master, trying to show off and intimidate me. But I was unimpressed. I armed myself with my broom, wielding it with the handle pointed at her like a spear. We circled each other a time or two, weapons at the ready. Then she dropped her wand, and I threw down my broom, and we charged at each other.

We were on each other in an instant like a couple of cats fighting. We slapped and kicked, shoved and tore, scratched and pulled, all the while screaming unintelligible insults at each other. I was beginning to gain the upper hand, until Glinda reached out, snatched the pointy black hat off my head, and began whacking me mercilessly with it. I, meanwhile, was otherwise occupied by my attempts to yank her ridiculous tiara out of her disgustingly perfect blonde curls. We were so engrossed in our battle that we didn't realize there were other people about until…

"Halt, in the name of the Wizard!" an unfamiliar male voice bellowed. Startled, Glinda let her hand, still holding my hat, drop to her side, and I froze with my fingers curled around her tiara. The guards took advantage of our surprise to pry us apart. To my dismay, once they had separated us, they didn't seem terribly inclined to release their uncomfortably tight hold on my arms.

"Stop! Let me go!" I screeched indignantly.

"Let me go, I almost had her!" howled Glinda, struggling against the guard who held a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Ha!" I scoffed.

The man who seemed to be the guards' leader nodded to the guard holding Glinda, and he removed his hand. "Sorry it took us so long to get here, Miss," he apologized to her.

She stiffened and, after hesitating just a clock-tick too long, replied, "I don't know what you're talking about…"

But it was too late. In a sickening moment of abrupt realization, I saw what this was all about. The Wizard had somehow found out about Nessa's death. He knew I would inevitably come, and he also knew that Glinda was the only person who I would not immediately be suspicious of when I found her there. So he used her to distract me until his guards could get there and take me into custody. The only question was, was Glinda a willing co-conspirator, or was she merely a pawn, a tool? Either way, the betrayal cut me deeply. I turned to my former friend, more hurt than I could possibly describe. "I can't believe you would sink this low! To use my sister's death as a trap to capture me?!"

To my surprise, she looked as astonished and upset as I was. "I never meant for this to happen! Elphie!" she pleaded, her eyes wide.

Suddenly a familiar figure pushed his way through the crowd to stand between me and Glinda. "Let the green girl go!" Fiyero commanded the guards holding me.

"Fiyero, how in Oz…?" I asked incredulously. I was delighted to see him, of course, and it was terribly brave and noble and prince-like of him to come to my rescue, but I had to suppress a groan at the utter stupidity of what he was doing. Did he _never_ think before he acted? If he wasn't careful, he was going to get us _both_ killed!

"Let her go!" Fiyero repeated. Then in one swift, sudden movement, he produced a very real, very dangerous-looking rifle and aimed it directly at Glinda. "Or explain to all of Oz how the Wizard's guards watched while Glinda the Good was slain."

Too surprised to do anything else, Glinda went very still, her eyes never leaving the gun. "Fiyero, no..." she managed, her voice trembling.

"I said, _let her go_," he ordered again, more quietly this time.

The two men holding my arms looked at each other helplessly. What could they do? Fiyero was giving them no choice. They very reluctantly relinquished their grip on my arms, and I lost no time in stepping away from them.

Fiyero's blue eyes locked onto mine. Somehow managing to keep his rifle trained on Glinda, he picked up my broom from where I had abandoned it earlier and tossed it to me. "Elphaba, go. Now."

Had he truly lost his mind?! He had just threatened to murder the most beloved person in all of Oz – didn't he realize what the guards were going to do to him the instant he lowered that gun? "No. Not without you." I shook my head stubbornly.

"Fiyero, please…" Glinda began.

"Hush!" Then he turned to me, his gaze agonizingly intense. "Now _go_!"

But still I hesitated, torn between the desire to escape and the need to make sure that Fiyero came to no harm. Then Glinda added her voice to his. "Do it!" she directed forcefully, desperately. I barely had time to react as she tossed me back my hat.

I couldn't withstand both of them begging at once. Even though everything in me was screaming at me not to, I turned and stumbled away into the cornfield, hoping against hope that I hadn't made yet another huge mistake.

I fully intended to obey Fiyero and make my escape while I could. As soon as I was far enough away from the guards, I was going to get on my broom and head for Kiamo Ko like I had originally planned. But then I heard Glinda scream. And before I knew it, I was running as fast as I could back towards the wrecked house. Keeping hidden among the cornstalks, I crept closer to see what was going on.

"Wait, what?! What are you doing?" Glinda was shouting. "Stop it! In the name of goodness, stop! Don't you see? He was never going to harm me, he just..." Then she stopped, and seemed to shrink a little as she resigned herself to the truth. "…he loves her."

Then I caught sight of Fiyero. The same two guards who had so recently been holding me had now transferred their viselike grips to his arms. Just as I had feared, his plan to save me had backfired, and the guards had nabbed him for threatening Glinda. Or maybe he had known all along that this was what would happen. I'll never know. In any case, he cast a remorseful look at her. "Glinda, I'm so sorry…"

Then the head of the guards ordered, "Take him up to that field there! Put him on one of those poles until he tells us where the Witch went!" With a growing sense of dread, I watched as they began to drag him away.

"No, don't hurt him!" Glinda screamed after them. "Please, don't hurt him! Fiyero!!!!"

I followed them secretly as they marched him through the corn to a small clearing, where there was a large stake driven into the ground with a shorter stake attached perpendicularly near the top. My skin began to crawl as I pictured what they were going to do to my poor Fiyero. But I wasn't prepared for what happened first.

They herded him almost to the very base of the stake, then formed a loose circle around him. Then suddenly, one of the guards' fists shot out and struck Fiyero in the stomach. He doubled over with a cry of pain and went reeling across the circle – right into the arms of another guard, who cuffed him hard and sent him staggering again. Round and round the circle he stumbled, being beaten by the Wizard's guards. I had to clamp a hand firmly over my mouth to stifle my screams. It was all I could do not to rush out and magick every one of the guards into oblivion. For some time, I'm ashamed to admit, my horror held me paralyzed. I could do nothing but watch helplessly, silent tears streaming down my face, as Fiyero grew weaker and bloodier, being tortured because he refused to betray me.

Then an idea struck. I might not have been able to do anything to the guards – casting a spell on that many people requires one to be in the midst of the group one is enchanting, and even with my powers, if I had risked revealing myself, I would never have stood a chance against all those guards. But maybe there was something I could do to help Fiyero. I whipped the Grimmerie out of my satchel and flipped through it, looking for something, _anything_, I could use. Maybe that was a mistake, too – after all, my track record with spells from the Grimmerie has been downright dismal – but I was far beyond desperation at this point. I was ready to try anything.

Finally I came across a spell that shot a glimmer of hope through the black despair that was quickly closing in around me. I hesitated only a moment before beginning to recite the words on the page in front of me. "Eleka Nahmen Nahmen Atum Atum Eleka Nahmen…" I continued casting the spell, grateful that the rustling of the cornstalks kept the guards from hearing me, and in between chanting I added my own frantic prayers. _Let his flesh not be torn, let his blood leave no stain… Though they beat him, let him feel no pain… Let his bones never break, and however they try to destroy him, let him never die… let him never die…_

At length, Fiyero seemed to stop reacting to their blows, although I couldn't tell if it was because of my spell or because he had simply gone unconscious. The guards quickly lost interest in their sport now that their victim was no longer acting the part. With a disgusted snort, the leader told them to pull the stake out of the ground and lay it down. They secured Fiyero to the crosspiece with ropes, then hoisted the pole back into its original position. He hung there, dangling by his arms, limp and unresponsive. After taking a moment to survey their handiwork, the guards formed up and trooped away back towards the farmhouse.

Once they were gone, I slipped out from my hiding place and went to stand at the base of the stake. As I looked up at Fiyero's lifeless form, I was hit with a sense of helplessness so complete, so final, that it forced me to my knees. It was my fault he was hanging there on that pole in the first place. I had tried to save him, but it hadn't worked. I couldn't even take down his body. I couldn't reach all the way up to the crossbar to undo the ropes, and even if I could, his weight would've been too much for me to manage on my own.

So I had no choice but to leave him. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to simply lay down right there, curl myself into a tiny little ball, and never move again. But wallowing in my misery was a luxury that I could not afford. I mounted my broom and rose slowly until I was hovering on a level with Fiyero. I reached out and gently touched his face one last time, letting my hand linger a moment. Then I sped off towards Kiamo Ko, following the careful directions Fiyero had given me just the night before.

I arrived at Kiamo Ko late the next afternoon, blown in on the leading edge of what promised to be a terrible storm. The Winkie sentries were reluctant at first to allow me access. However, Fiyero had hastily written me a letter before we parted saying that I was there with his knowledge and permission, and I was not to be given any trouble, or they'd answer to him for it. That last bit was rather pointless now, but I decided that they didn't need to know that. Once I showed them the letter, they let me in, and I set about exploring the place.

I soon came across a chamber that I decided would serve well enough for my room. It was in an out-of-the-way corner of the castle, large and square, filled with beautiful antique furniture. As I looked around, I spotted a small door in the far corner, which seemed odd – why would you need a door several stories up on the outside wall of a building? Opening it, I discovered that it provided access to one of the castle's corner towers. The set of curving stairs before me seemed to beckon me upwards, and I began to climb.

At the top of the steps, I discovered a small, circular room sitting right under the tower's conical roof. It struck me suddenly that it resembled nothing so much as the inside of my pointy old black hat. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was perfect for me. The old, creaky wooden floorboards; the slanted walls made of crumbling stone; the faint, unexplainable chill that seemed to hang in the air – it was a witch's chamber straight from a storybook. The thought made me grin. I was the Wicked Witch of the West, and I would do it up properly, thank you very much!

The little room only had one small window, which let in barely enough light to see by. But there was another door across from the one that led back into the tower. I found that it led outdoors – the outside wall of the castle is so thick, there is a path of sorts along the top of it, protected by more stone walls along both sides. This would make a perfect place to take off and land my broom, I reflected.

This last realization decided me. These would be my rooms from now on. I stood on the castle wall for a few minutes, admiring the view. You can see for miles from up there. But then the wind picked up, and it quickly got chilly. The storm was coming on fast. I went back inside, descended the stairs, and arrived back in the larger room below, ready to start making it home.

But then I realized that I was terribly hungry. Glancing at the ornate grandfather clock in the corner, I was surprised to see that it was already well into the evening. I suddenly remembered that I hadn't had anything to eat since the fish Fiyero and I had cooked in the forest almost two full days – or was it a lifetime? – ago. The persistent growling of my stomach persuaded me to head off in search of dinner. Before long, I had uncovered the kitchens, and after scrounging up some food, I took my supper and retreated back to my room to dine in solitude and silence.

As I ate, the storm finally broke. Lightning flashed, thunder roared, and rain lashed against the windows, adding to my depressed mood. I had managed to keep my mind occupied for a day and half, first by flying and then by exploring Kiamo Ko. But now that I was somewhat settled down, with nothing demanding my immediate attention, I found my thoughts wandering, trying to make some sort of sense out of everything that had happened in the past forty-eight hours. Fiyero… the one person I loved most in this world, gone, just like that. Because of me. Yet another disaster to add to my already generous supply. How much longer would this go on? How many more people had to suffer on my account before whatever dark power governs my life was satisfied?

Suddenly my poor, tormented mind couldn't hold itself together a moment longer. Without pausing even long enough to don my cape, I jumped up and rushed for the door to the tower, bound for the stairs that led up and outside. I tore up the winding spiral staircase like a woman gone mad and crashed through the little circular room at the top of the tower. Bursting through the door out onto the battlements, I struggled against the blinding rain and howling wind that threatened to send me tumbling over the side. Finally, exhausted, I threw myself against the stone wall, leaning out into the night.

"Fiyero!" I shrieked in anguish. The wind ripped the cry from my throat and flung it away unanswered. I collapsed to my knees, soaked to the bone and shivering. "Fiyero…" Then I fell facedown on the parapet, crumpled in a bedraggled heap, and began to sob like I haven't since the day my mother died. I wept for what seemed like hours, until my heart was wrung dry from grief, until I had no more tears left to cry. Then, tired and weak, but with a new and sudden sense of calm, I got stiffly to my feet and wandered back down to my chamber before I contracted pneumonia.

Downstairs I dried off and dressed in a clean, dry shift, then wrapped myself in my trusty old cape to ward off the damp chill that was creeping into my very bones. I sat before a roaring fire, warming my shaking hands on a mug of steaming hot cocoa as I contemplated my situation and tried to determine what my course of action should be from here. Fiyero was right; Kiamo Ko is the perfect hiding place. It'll soon be obvious to one and all that I'm here, of course, but like he said, there are plenty of hidden trap doors and secret passageways. If anyone comes looking for me, I can easily manage not to be found. This is as safe a place as any for the time being.

I don't know if I believe in any sort of afterlife, or in the concepts of heaven and hell. But if there is a hell, it can't possibly be any worse than what I'm going through right now. I feel like I'm trapped in some sanity-stealing nightmare, only it's not a nightmare. I can't wake up. I'm locked in some dark waltz with my unwanted but inescapable fate, and the music won't stop.

I can feel myself slowly but surely spiraling downward into madness, and there's nothing I can do to stop it, nothing I can grab onto to break the fall. It's been over a week since everything happened that I just wrote about, and only now have I been able to calm my nerves enough to discuss it without completely breaking down. As it was, I had all I could do to force my pen across the pages to record it all, and I was obliged to stop often to regain control of my emotions. I haven't slept more than a few minutes at a stretch since I arrived at the castle, because every time I close my eyes, I see Fiyero, his battered body slung up on that pole, bruised and bleeding. It's an image that I know will haunt me for the rest of my days.

I've learned one thing from what happened, and it is this: no good deed goes unpunished. I've tried so many times to do good, and it's always blown up in my face. As the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Sure, I meant well – well, look at what well-meant did! Talk about well-meant to those winged monkeys… to Nessa… to Boq… to Glinda… to Fiyero. Whenever I try to help someone, I seem to get foiled at every turn.

All right, then, so be it! I can't take it anymore! Let all of Oz be agreed – I'm wicked through and through. I promise you this, Fiyero: my effort to save you was the last time I will ever try to help anyone. I swear on your memory that I will never again attempt to do a single good deed as long as I live!

**It may be a while before I update this again. Chapters 13 and 14 are the ones that need the most work. So please be patient. :D**


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